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After being struck by lightning, a geeky bullied teen discovers that he has the ability to obtain the skills, strength, and knowledge of others via touch, he uses this newly found gift to get even with his tormenters and win the heart of the girl he adores.
You have described three separate and seemingly unrelated plots: Stopping the bullies and getting revenge for their actions. Chasing the girl and ending up in a relationship with her. Stopping the plot to sabotage his father's roller coaster. None of the above appear related to each other or to thatRead more
You have described three separate and seemingly unrelated plots:
Stopping the bullies and getting revenge for their actions.
Chasing the girl and ending up in a relationship with her.
Stopping the plot to sabotage his father’s roller coaster.
None of the above appear related to each other or to that matter even befitting presence in the same genre.
What is your main plot? What does your MC want in the A plot of your story?
This should constitute the logline.
See lessAfter being struck by lightning, a geeky bullied teen discovers that he has the ability to obtain the skills, strength, and knowledge of others via touch, he uses this newly found gift to get even with his tormenters and win the heart of the girl he adores.
You have described three separate and seemingly unrelated plots: Stopping the bullies and getting revenge for their actions. Chasing the girl and ending up in a relationship with her. Stopping the plot to sabotage his father's roller coaster. None of the above appear related to each other or to thatRead more
You have described three separate and seemingly unrelated plots:
Stopping the bullies and getting revenge for their actions.
Chasing the girl and ending up in a relationship with her.
Stopping the plot to sabotage his father’s roller coaster.
None of the above appear related to each other or to that matter even befitting presence in the same genre.
What is your main plot? What does your MC want in the A plot of your story?
This should constitute the logline.
See less?After a car accident leaves him in a coma, a lazy Amish logline writer finds himself trapped in an elevator with Hell?s best producer. He now has six floors to pitch and sell an idea to save his physical body and awake.?
I'm not sure about the accuracy of the cultural and theological details and how big a part they would play on selling an idea but regarding the logline on a structural level the inciting incident is weak. A good inciting incident should change the world of the MC dramatically enough to motivate himRead more
I’m not sure about the accuracy of the cultural and theological details and how big a part they would play on selling an idea but regarding the logline on a structural level the inciting incident is weak.
A good inciting incident should change the world of the MC dramatically enough to motivate him or her to take drastic enough (therefore interesting) action to fix things. “…finds himself…” is not a significant enough an action and is not done to the MC rather done by himself.
Also if you are taking a religious angle with the sensibilities of the MC use that to accentuate the gravity of the inciting incident.
How about making the MC a devout christian, Mormon or Amish facing the devil? For them this would be a bigger deal than for others.
e.g:
After an aspiring Amish writer is abducted by the devil he has one elevator ride to pitch and sell and idea to avoid eternal damnation.
May work as a short film but not sure about it as a feature though.
Hope this helps.
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