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A young candle maker with hidden magic powers teams up with an aloof dragon knight to battle monsters in a dark realm while seeking to rescue her twin brother before a sinister sorcerer uses him to activate an ancient weapon.
Good points raised by DPG and Richiev. The character flaw in many fantasy movies is normally a cliche and waters down the impact of the journey. I think that both DPG and Richiev's suggestions put together are the better option only after she learns her lesson and completes her inner journey is sheRead more
Good points raised by DPG and Richiev.
The character flaw in many fantasy movies is normally a cliche and waters down the impact of the journey. I think that both DPG and Richiev’s suggestions put together are the better option only after she learns her lesson and completes her inner journey is she able to save her brother.
Karel Segeres mentioned the order of the inner and outer goal achievements needing to be that only after the MC achieves the inner goal and completes their arc are they allowed to achieve the outer goal as a reward.
Basically what this means is that achieving the outer journey’s goal is a feat and raises its significants, significantly.
See lessA military school cadet must be silenced when she witnesses Cuban-Americans robbing the school?s armory. When she discovers that the guns are to be used to assassinate the president, she has only minutes to stop the killers.
And get caught by a cadet no less... If they are caught by a cadet, how would they sneak by the secret service? This logline seams to try and mould a premise into a possible situation but not probable, credible or believable in any way and struggling at that. As for the logline itself if the story iRead more
And get caught by a cadet no less…
If they are caught by a cadet, how would they sneak by the secret service?
This logline seams to try and mould a premise into a possible situation but not probable, credible or believable in any way and struggling at that.
As for the logline itself if the story is about the cadet then why does the logline start off with an event that is an observation made by the antagonists and not the MC’s inciting incident?
Hope this helps.
See lessA military school cadet must be silenced when she witnesses Cuban-Americans robbing the school?s armory. When she discovers that the guns are to be used to assassinate the president, she has only minutes to stop the killers.
And get caught by a cadet no less... If they are caught by a cadet, how would they sneak by the secret service? This logline seams to try and mould a premise into a possible situation but not probable, credible or believable in any way and struggling at that. As for the logline itself if the story iRead more
And get caught by a cadet no less…
If they are caught by a cadet, how would they sneak by the secret service?
This logline seams to try and mould a premise into a possible situation but not probable, credible or believable in any way and struggling at that.
As for the logline itself if the story is about the cadet then why does the logline start off with an event that is an observation made by the antagonists and not the MC’s inciting incident?
Hope this helps.
See less