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A career girl convinced her instinctive man-picker is broken, creates a complicated love square when she discovers the sequence that triggers love and lust in the brain, and uses it to transfer her infatuation with an unavailable co-worker to her ?just friends? bestie.
Not sure what "...instinctive man-picker..." is, is this her feminine instinct? Or a known mechanism/technique in the world of your character? Did she miss judge her infatuation initially and decide to transfer it to another person or was this by mistake? After transferring it did it become a probleRead more
Not sure what “…instinctive man-picker…” is, is this her feminine instinct?
Or a known mechanism/technique in the world of your character?
Did she miss judge her infatuation initially and decide to transfer it to another person or was this by mistake? After transferring it did it become a problem for her if so in what way?
I think a problem with this logline is that it is not clear what type of person the main character is and what it is she wants.
MC – career girl, but what is her flaw, goal, obstacle and is there an antagonist?
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a washed up plumber gets abducted by an automated alien spaceship, he must use his particular set of skills to save himself and the planet. (FOR MEETUP)
Sounds like a good idea for a scifi comedy. The MC description is really good it plays on a double meaning and hints at comedy at a very early stage. WELL DONE! This is a comedy right? Only thing I would add as a change would be to specify a single goal; either save his own life or the planet. PrefeRead more
Sounds like a good idea for a scifi comedy.
The MC description is really good it plays on a double meaning and hints at comedy at a very early stage.
WELL DONE!
This is a comedy right?
Only thing I would add as a change would be to specify a single goal; either save his own life or the planet. Preferably make him need to save the planet and make it clear that its earth at that.
Also better to specify a sentient being as the antagonist as appose to a machine this gives him an antagonistic relationship with contrasting motivations as appose to a struggle against a programing code. Unlike A Space Odyssey or The Terminator I don’t think this story will be dealing with existentialism, the meaning and value of life.
See lessWhen a washed up plumber gets abducted by an automated alien spaceship, he must use his particular set of skills to save himself and the planet. (FOR MEETUP)
Sounds like a good idea for a scifi comedy. The MC description is really good it plays on a double meaning and hints at comedy at a very early stage. WELL DONE! This is a comedy right? Only thing I would add as a change would be to specify a single goal; either save his own life or the planet. PrefeRead more
Sounds like a good idea for a scifi comedy.
The MC description is really good it plays on a double meaning and hints at comedy at a very early stage.
WELL DONE!
This is a comedy right?
Only thing I would add as a change would be to specify a single goal; either save his own life or the planet. Preferably make him need to save the planet and make it clear that its earth at that.
Also better to specify a sentient being as the antagonist as appose to a machine this gives him an antagonistic relationship with contrasting motivations as appose to a struggle against a programing code. Unlike A Space Odyssey or The Terminator I don’t think this story will be dealing with existentialism, the meaning and value of life.
See less