Another big problem with this would be that if the MC is Alistair it would be very hard for the audience to develop empathy for him as a snuff film maker or participator. I personally don’t care what happens to people who make such films why would the audience?

Further more if Alistair is the MC you have not yet established a starting point for the story, what is the inciting incident? Why now do something different to the other films they made?

I think better to turn the MC into being Terry you have more scope to tell her story than Alistair’s.

I also think there is no need to mention the specific name of the website and explain the function of each of the participants. Just describe the group of college students as snuff film makers and this will tell the reader enough about what they do and who they are.

Hope this helps.

This logline describes in broad terms an interesting premise foster children on the run but there are too many descriptions that stifle the story from coming through the logline.

By group of kids do you mean 2 or more? Is there a reason you have a few main characters and not one? Is this necessary for the story?

“..quirky, inner-city foster…” as the MC descriptions is vague and lacks a flaw perhaps try something like: misguided or desperate instead.

When you say one of them is guilty what does that refer to? The murder of the parents? Another crime?
“…coming to terms with…” is not a visual action that can be depicted with a camera it is not compelling enough to keep an audience watching either. What else can the MCs do to achieve their goal.

Segue…

What is the MCs goal? They lack a goal so it’s not clear what they are trying to achieve in this story.

Are they running away from the police? Angry relatives of the dead parents? Trying to prove their innocence?

hope this helps.