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When an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.
I don't see how the event that mutilated the obstetrician brought about the demon, these two elements seam unrelated to each other. I think best to either drop the demon from the plot and focus on the mutilation of the obstetrician and his revenge. Or begin the story with the demon and make the obstRead more
I don’t see how the event that mutilated the obstetrician brought about the demon, these two elements seam unrelated to each other.
I think best to either drop the demon from the plot and focus on the mutilation of the obstetrician and his revenge. Or begin the story with the demon and make the obstetrician need to fight the demon to save an innocent life.
It seams to me that this should either be a story of revenge set in a science fiction genre or a story of redemption set in a super natural thriller genre not both. Obviously this then presents a choice to be made in the structure with regards to the ethical debate the subject matter raises and requires a clear choice to be made about the stories stance on abortion.
See lessWhen an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.
I don't see how the event that mutilated the obstetrician brought about the demon, these two elements seam unrelated to each other. I think best to either drop the demon from the plot and focus on the mutilation of the obstetrician and his revenge. Or begin the story with the demon and make the obstRead more
I don’t see how the event that mutilated the obstetrician brought about the demon, these two elements seam unrelated to each other.
I think best to either drop the demon from the plot and focus on the mutilation of the obstetrician and his revenge. Or begin the story with the demon and make the obstetrician need to fight the demon to save an innocent life.
It seams to me that this should either be a story of revenge set in a science fiction genre or a story of redemption set in a super natural thriller genre not both. Obviously this then presents a choice to be made in the structure with regards to the ethical debate the subject matter raises and requires a clear choice to be made about the stories stance on abortion.
See lessA disgraced scientist sends a message into a blackhole, never expecting the terrifying message it sends back, now he has just days to prove to the world that this time he is right.
Essentially his sending a message into the black hole and never expecting a reply is unrelated to the story. The story really starts after he gets a message from inside a black hole (laws of physics not withstanding...) and his main action according to the logline is to earn the scientific communityRead more
Essentially his sending a message into the black hole and never expecting a reply is unrelated to the story. The story really starts after he gets a message from inside a black hole (laws of physics not withstanding…) and his main action according to the logline is to earn the scientific community’s respect again.
I find this a week action to take as appose to save the world. Why not change the opening of the logline to reflect the inciting incident and then clarify the stakes by elaborating on his actions to save the world.
My try:
After a disgraced scientist receives a message from outer space he has a few days to convince his peers that an Alien invasion is immanent and save the world.
Hope this helps.
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