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When a stubborn, reclusive young man gets separated from his family during a jungle trek, he must learn to adapt and survive if he is going to rescue his parents from a separatist rebel holding them hostage.
Good comment above, I'd add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn't quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn't capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal. If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhapsRead more
Good comment above, I’d add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn’t quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn’t capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal.
If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhaps if the MC had acrophobia and OCD about cleanliness or a specific phobia of trees or animals that would push his obstacles further. Matchstick Men was a good example of mashing together a whole bunch of phobias into the one MC and making him tackle challenges accordingly.
Also if you where to specify where the jungle is located then the specific type of antagonist would be made clearer. Vietnam, Papua New Guinea, Thailand, the Republic of Congo and Brazil all have different cultures and therefor different characteristics to their rebels and their actions.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a stubborn, reclusive young man gets separated from his family during a jungle trek, he must learn to adapt and survive if he is going to rescue his parents from a separatist rebel holding them hostage.
Good comment above, I'd add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn't quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn't capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal. If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhapsRead more
Good comment above, I’d add that his flaw would be key to making this a more interesting story and the suggested flaw doesn’t quite do it. Acrophobia is good but doesn’t capitalize on the full potential of the setting and goal.
If the setting is a jungle and the antagonist a separatist rebel perhaps if the MC had acrophobia and OCD about cleanliness or a specific phobia of trees or animals that would push his obstacles further. Matchstick Men was a good example of mashing together a whole bunch of phobias into the one MC and making him tackle challenges accordingly.
Also if you where to specify where the jungle is located then the specific type of antagonist would be made clearer. Vietnam, Papua New Guinea, Thailand, the Republic of Congo and Brazil all have different cultures and therefor different characteristics to their rebels and their actions.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter becoming a cyborg and inheriting the memories of others before, a human man enlists the aid of an alien cyborg intelligence to prevent the extinction of the human race.
As DPG mentioned a graphic novel is all together different with regards to its story requirements. This changes many things as you can part with information relating to characters emotional states and thoughts directly without the need for a visual representation. With regards to your inciting incidRead more
As DPG mentioned a graphic novel is all together different with regards to its story requirements. This changes many things as you can part with information relating to characters emotional states and thoughts directly without the need for a visual representation.
With regards to your inciting incident; you specifically described the “event” as “…a common one.” which is as previously explained better done as an uncommon one.
However from your most recent explanation the event or inciting incident is his discovery of the plot against humanity. This does not come across in the currant draft of the logline the inciting incident in the currant draft is becoming a cyborg not learning about the plot to destroy humanity “After becoming a cyborg and inheriting the memories…” . Inheriting memories does not imply learning of a plot to kill all humans and the way in which he learns of the plot i.e inheriting the memories is irrelevant to the logline.
Better then to start the logline with the MC then the inciting incident to make it clear to the reader that this is what starts off the story and makes him take action.
For example:
After discovering a plot to destroy humanity, a man turned cyborg, must fight an evil alien overlord with the aid of a friendly alien AI to save Earth.
See less