Thanks DPG agree about the cluttering of the logline. The board member found out that she used a loan shark to save the company and therefor used him to blackmail her. So in essence he is the antagonist and she needs to discredit him but in the same token as long as the loan shark is out there the loan shark can still pose a threat.

Also very true about her needing to confess publicly to her mistakes. The story will climax with her and the hit man fighting the loan shark as they struggle to get to the share holders meeting. Once the defeat the loan shark they make it to the meeting and she announces to the share holders that she lent money to save the company. In the process she also exposes that the board member who blackmailed her.

The love story is the B plot that accompanies the A plot. Its through the love interest that she learns humility. She knows nothing about the world of crime and must rely on the hit man for help. This spurs on the mid act 2 reversal that leads her eventually to her solution.

The idea is to put Meryl Streep’s character from The Devil Wears Prada in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. A black comedy about a fish out of water that has to learn the rules of a world unknown to her.

I may have to re think the premise to be able to achieve the above in a more succinct and elegant way and probably come up with a new logline.

Thanks Valentin but I made a mistake with the original logline as the MC was suicidal which will inhibit empathy. But thanks for the suggestions you made.

Also as a down on her luck teacher the story became tragic not comic and the stakes are much higher as a powerful CEO. She is responsible for her own life, her mother’s life, the income of thousands of share holders and hundreds of employees and their families.

Thanks DPG.

True about her external goal needing to be killing the loan shark and the need for the personal aspect of that goal. Her flaw is being overly proud internal journey goal is to learn humility which she does when she admits to her mistakes and asks for help.
So in her case the personal aspect is that she is too proud to admit that she used a loan shark to save the company during the GFC and as a result a rival board member that finds out blackmails her.

I figured then best to clarify the antagonist force in the logline:

When a jealous board member partners with a loan shark to blackmail a proud highflying CEO, the CEO contracts a hit man to fake her death. But they fall in love and instead decide to kill the loan shark and threaten the board member.