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An academic must work with a Romanian deity to uncover ancient knowledge, in order to stop his brother-god from unleashing a second life-ending flood. (Urban Fantasy)
Agreed with Richiev, there's a lot happening here but very little to do with a plot. Why MUST he work with this deity? What made this situation come about? And what motivated him to do this? In other words, what's the big event that starts the story off? What, specifically, is this knowledge and howRead more
Agreed with Richiev, there’s a lot happening here but very little to do with a plot.
Why MUST he work with this deity? What made this situation come about? And what motivated him to do this? In other words, what’s the big event that starts the story off?
What, specifically, is this knowledge and how will it help to stop a natural disaster?
The basic elements of the premise have definitely got high stakes, but it’s not clear how the to and fro of events and actions will progress the story.
See lessCursed by an Indian medicine man, a badass rocker must overcome the curse, to find the love of his life.
Agreed with DPG, Nettle, and Richiev.As soon as I read Rocker I thought he was a musician, which gave the concept certain connotations that were wholly inaccurate - outlaw, biker, banger (short for a member of a gang), etc... would be better placed.Ultimately, whatever description you use, his actioRead more
Agreed with DPG, Nettle, and Richiev.
As soon as I read Rocker I thought he was a musician, which gave the concept certain connotations that were wholly inaccurate – outlaw, biker, banger (short for a member of a gang), etc… would be better placed.
Ultimately, whatever description you use, his actions and goal have to connect to the inciting incident via a cause and effect relationship. So how does the love of his life connect to the curse?
See lessA clever teenager hacks a military computer to play a nuclear war game only to trigger the computer into preparing to “play” a real nuclear war.
I've always said (as you probably know) that loglines serve two purposes for a writer - 1) to help develop the concept and 2) pitch it.Like you wrote, if a logline does both all the better. However, if as a writer you struggle to compose such a logline for a particular concept, perhaps best to focusRead more
I’ve always said (as you probably know) that loglines serve two purposes for a writer – 1) to help develop the concept and 2) pitch it.
Like you wrote, if a logline does both all the better. However, if as a writer you struggle to compose such a logline for a particular concept, perhaps best to focus on a logline for the former and separately a tagline for the later.? Then perhaps post the tagline with a note specifying it as such, it could even be useful to add a ‘Tagline’ category in the drop down menu as an option. That’s what taglines are for – to sell the ‘sizzle’.
Often, the word ‘logline’ gets misused, which means when some people ask for a logline what they’re really asking for is the ‘sizzle’ instead of the plot, in other words, they want a tagline.
My experiences to date have shown that decision makers respond more to a tagline upfront. If the ‘sizzle’ gets them they’ll ask for more information, and that’s when you give them the logline. So, I totally agree about the need to prioritise the ‘sizzle’ over the ‘steak’, only it depends on who you’re talking to and when.
That said, a logline is a logline and a tagline is a tagline, while they share common ground they are two separate beasts, and the name of this web site pretty much sums up what we’re working on in that regard.
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