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Three internally flawed women, with traumatic childhoods, are forced to navigate through life?s peaks and valleys in the affluent suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia.
Much like your other logline, this lacks a clear protagonist, event, action, and goal. Good loglines use specific detail to describe a plot. So, what does "...internally flawed..." mean? State the flaws, not the fact that they exist. What does "...traumatic childhoods..." mean? Were they beaten, rapRead more
Much like your other logline, this lacks a clear protagonist, event, action, and goal.
Good loglines use specific detail to describe a plot. So, what does “…internally flawed…” mean? State the flaws, not the fact that they exist.
What does “…traumatic childhoods…” mean? Were they beaten, raped, kidnapped? Describe what happened to them that made them who or what they are.
“…life’s peaks and valleys…” is too vague as it applies to everyone. What specifically must these characters do, and most importantly of all, to what end? What is their goal?
Best you focus on one character, writing a single protagonist plot is hard enough much less a plot about three. First-time writers should learn the craft and form of a simpler story before trying to write more complex stories.
See lessThree childhood friends mimic the devastating dynamics of their parental relationships, even to the point of committing murder.
As Richiev wrote, this logline lacks the critical elements of a story. Check out our 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information about logline conventions.
As Richiev wrote, this logline lacks the critical elements of a story.
Check out our ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information about logline conventions.
See lessAfter they make a wish to kill their parents, a group of teenagers discover they?ve messed with an entity that makes this wish come true.
But he wished it in the first place... He gets what he wants. Was it a joke wish and he realises that only after making the wish? If so, you need to specify that in the logline. What are his goal and action? Assuming he doesn't really want his parents dead, what does he do to stop the killing?
But he wished it in the first place… He gets what he wants. Was it a joke wish and he realises that only after making the wish? If so, you need to specify that in the logline.
What are his goal and action? Assuming he doesn’t really want his parents dead, what does he do to stop the killing?
See less