1. Posted: June 9, 2018In:

    When a bookshop goes bankrupt, life is thrown into uncertainty for those who call it home. ‘D’ is eager to win a chance to launch her music career and finally escape her crippling double life. ‘B’ has a fatal secret she keeps from her surrogate children and sets out on a personal quest. While ‘W’ just lets life pass him by as he’s forced to come to grips with his sexuality and the prospect of his father never coming back for him.

    Nettle Samurai

    Well, it is a way of representation. Your writing does sound better. But I am unsure if these stories connect. A concise idea can be: 'When life problems overwhelm, four stories share a fate as they journey towards self-enlightenment.' (This is not a proper way to write it but nevertheless...) For tRead more

    Well, it is a way of representation. Your writing does sound better.

    But I am unsure if these stories connect. A concise idea can be: ‘When life problems overwhelm, four stories share a fate as they journey towards self-enlightenment.’ (This is not a proper way to write it but nevertheless…)

    For this instance, forget about word limit, try to put a closure to your logline.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: June 6, 2018In:

    Two occult detectives must investigate a murder at a prestigious boys boarding school when the body of a missing boy is discovered.

    Nettle Samurai

    'When the defiled body of a missing child is discovered, an impassive occult-detective is given a task to decipher the mysterious crime of the city.' You must establish a main character to your story. When you tell a story there must be a view point to tell from. Given that you follow lead detectiveRead more

    ‘When the defiled body of a missing child is discovered, an impassive occult-detective is given a task to decipher the mysterious crime of the city.’

    You must establish a main character to your story. When you tell a story there must be a view point to tell from.

    Given that you follow lead detective as your main character. Establish a plot where your main character is facing difficulties to show emotions because of his past. Relate his past to the story’s plot.
    E.g., Here you will reveal in the end that the boy’s bully-victim murdered him. Relate this to detective’s past by creating a story where he had a abusive childhood, he wanted to do something about it, but he was never able to… something that can give a dramatic touch to your story. Connect the dots by transforming your character to understand this child’s emotion, and make him do something extraordinary for the child. I think, audience will always love such thing.

    Write a 25 page story on your idea. It does not matter what you write, you will find a way to give your story a proper justification.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: June 4, 2018In:

    When a British Agent is accused of aiding the terrorist attack she failed to foil, she is forced to go on the run from, and on the hunt for, both friends and foes.

    Nettle Samurai

    I can see the movie plot in your logline, pretty clearly. Bravo! The impact of the terrorist attack she failed to foil will be heavy on conscience of a character and the utter disgust of failing on a national duty will add extraordinary dramatic influence on one's actions. Sometimes action movies teRead more

    I can see the movie plot in your logline, pretty clearly. Bravo!

    The impact of the terrorist attack she failed to foil will be heavy on conscience of a character and the utter disgust of failing on a national duty will add extraordinary dramatic influence on one’s actions.

    Sometimes action movies tend to insignify the emotional side of main character. When you write down the script, do not involve in actions only. This idea has potential to catch on the nerves of viewers. Build drama to enhance the experience of movie-goers.

    Although one may argue against the dramatic need – just to run. What will be her actions? I feel it can be part of bigger picture. This is good to go.

    See less
    • 0