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A kid named John goes to an amusement park which has a laser tag booth for his birthday with his friends enter laser tag when they find out if they don’t win they get executed
Sorry, *lose the character's name.
Sorry, *lose the character’s name.
See lessA kid named John goes to an amusement park which has a laser tag booth for his birthday with his friends enter laser tag when they find out if they don’t win they get executed
Lost the character's name, and try to keep it simple by telling his what their "occupation" is, and what their flaw is: "A sheltered gamer ..." (trying to inject the irony of a gamer, unused to physical activity, being forced to perform in a physically demanding environment in order to survive). WhaRead more
Lost the character’s name, and try to keep it simple by telling his what their “occupation” is, and what their flaw is:
“A sheltered gamer …” (trying to inject the irony of a gamer, unused to physical activity, being forced to perform in a physically demanding environment in order to survive).
What is the inciting incident? Is it the beginning of the game? Remember; this element should be an EVENT that happens TO the protagonist, and not something that they are pro-active in doing.
OK … so once we know the danger is real, what is the goal? To win … but does that mean killing all of their opponents, or reaching a score, or capturing a flag, or finding the exit? Can you be specific?
See lessA young motorcycle rider who wants to become a police detective but suddenly 5 people are killed and the killer is unknown and if he solves this case he can become a detective.
Totally agree with DPG. You can't convince an audience that the entry exam for any police force anywhere in the world is to solve a quintuple murder. Beyond that ... young tells me next to nothing about your protagonist. What is the flaw? Could you strengthen the stakes? Make it less about the job aRead more
Totally agree with DPG. You can’t convince an audience that the entry exam for any police force anywhere in the world is to solve a quintuple murder.
Beyond that … young tells me next to nothing about your protagonist. What is the flaw?
Could you strengthen the stakes? Make it less about the job and more personal/primal?
“An ex-biker turned detective defies an apathetic police force to seek vengeance on his brother’s murderers during a gang war.”
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