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After joining the crew of an AWOL Confederate steamer, an idealistic medical student must survive the savagery of the ship's captain and crew in order to take part in the destruction of a Union whaling fleet in the Pacific Ocean.
Absolutely fantastic feedback. Thanks mate - I'll mull it over some more.
Absolutely fantastic feedback. Thanks mate – I’ll mull it over some more.
See lessThe chronicles of Nomar Kendrapall, the dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire, as he struggles to maintain control while his sociopathic son hatches Machiavellian schemes to usurp the throne, his rivals jockey for power, and an alien empire threatens to re-ignite an interstellar war.
Agree with the two above. So, in regards to the earlier logline: The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power midst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.? Is the crux of the story that his power hungry son is trying to wrestle awaRead more
Agree with the two above. So, in regards to the earlier logline:
The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power midst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.?
Is the crux of the story that his power hungry son is trying to wrestle away control of the empire? I think maybe just a re-shuffling of the wording to clarify this. “To struggle” is not a particularly compelling action for a protagonist to take. What specifically does he need to do to stop the take over, and why? If he’s dying, he’s gonna have to hand over the reigns at some point. Is it because his son is Joaquin Phoenix from Gladiator?
I like the premise – Star Wars meets Shakespeare. Is the Empire evil, or is that something I’m projecting onto the story?
See lessA self help guru with waning confidence is blackmailed into helping an inept super villain take over the world.
Agree with both of RIchiev's comments ... the lack of a goal is a pretty big issue. The "blackmailing" needs context, as he says. What is being done to force him to help? That said, you should know that my first reaction reading it was "OK - I'm listening ..." Sounds like a great fun, exciting premiRead more
Agree with both of RIchiev’s comments … the lack of a goal is a pretty big issue. The “blackmailing” needs context, as he says. What is being done to force him to help?
That said, you should know that my first reaction reading it was “OK – I’m listening …”
See lessSounds like a great fun, exciting premise. Keep at it.