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A mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity found out, will he escape from the evil prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.
Why does it matter that his identity has been revealed? If that's the 'primal stakes' driving your story, it's 100% necessary that they're made clear in the logline. I don't know who he is, so I don't care that his identity has been revealed, so the story does not grip me. Don't ask ME if he's goingRead more
Why does it matter that his identity has been revealed? If that’s the ‘primal stakes’ driving your story, it’s 100% necessary that they’re made clear in the logline. I don’t know who he is, so I don’t care that his identity has been revealed, so the story does not grip me.
Don’t ask ME if he’s going to escape – you’re the storyteller. Instead, tell me what the action he DOES take to escape the hunters is.
Who are these hunters? Is it like JUMPER and they’re some sort of police force? Or is he literally being hunted like in THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME?
See lessA mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity found out, will he escape from the evil prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.
Why does it matter that his identity has been revealed? If that's the 'primal stakes' driving your story, it's 100% necessary that they're made clear in the logline. I don't know who he is, so I don't care that his identity has been revealed, so the story does not grip me. Don't ask ME if he's goingRead more
Why does it matter that his identity has been revealed? If that’s the ‘primal stakes’ driving your story, it’s 100% necessary that they’re made clear in the logline. I don’t know who he is, so I don’t care that his identity has been revealed, so the story does not grip me.
Don’t ask ME if he’s going to escape – you’re the storyteller. Instead, tell me what the action he DOES take to escape the hunters is.
Who are these hunters? Is it like JUMPER and they’re some sort of police force? Or is he literally being hunted like in THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME?
See lessAn overzealous father gives up on life after he causes a family tragedy; his selfless daughter battling with her own pain must cling onto her faith to save him.
This logline feels too vague for me ... I can't picture your story at all. What is the specific family tragedy, and how is the father responsible for it? In what manner (taking what action) does his daughter 'save' him?
This logline feels too vague for me … I can’t picture your story at all. What is the specific family tragedy, and how is the father responsible for it? In what manner (taking what action) does his daughter ‘save’ him?
See less