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Batman is being sought for the murder of ex-cons, cops, and Rachel Dawes. Commisioner Gordon meets a man named "StrongMan" who tells him he can capture Batman. Mr. Gordon grants him immunity for any crimes he many commit in capturing Batman. However Strongman is working for an underground mob. Due to the events that have unfolded Batman has fallen into a deep depression.
Is this a pseudo-sequel to The Dark Knight? Because the conflict for the character of Commissioner Gordon (ignoring the issue of rights as has been stated above) at the end of that story would not be that he needs to catch Batman, it's that he needs to make it LOOK like he's trying to catch Batman,Read more
Is this a pseudo-sequel to The Dark Knight? Because the conflict for the character of Commissioner Gordon (ignoring the issue of rights as has been stated above) at the end of that story would not be that he needs to catch Batman, it’s that he needs to make it LOOK like he’s trying to catch Batman, even though he secretly knows Batman was the hero and so doesn’t WANT to catch him.
Who is your protagonist? Gordon or Strongman? Does Batman’s depression even factor into the other story at play here?
See lessA special ops team made up of foreign soldiers as well as Americans do special ops missions across the world. until they are setup by their own government, forcing them to go into hiding.
Who is your protagonist? Loglines work a certain way because they presuppose that your story is about one character trying to achieve one goal. "When his team is setup (doing what?) by their own government, a tough as nails covert operative must (do what? How will he resolve this issue) before (whatRead more
Who is your protagonist? Loglines work a certain way because they presuppose that your story is about one character trying to achieve one goal.
“When his team is setup (doing what?) by their own government, a tough as nails covert operative must (do what? How will he resolve this issue) before (what are the stakes)?”
The story you describe in your logline is about a conspiracy, and the action your protagonists take is to run away. Very unsatisfying. So your protagonist’s goal either needs to be seeking out and exposing the head of this conspiracy, returning the world to balance that way. otherwise, I would suggest removing the conspiracy element – and make it a story about your characters escaping a situation.
Also … what sets this apart from the Mission Impossible and Jason Bourne franchises? Even SWAT?
See lessWhen an underprivileged Pakistani boy is murdered by his richer and more influential counterpart, his friends set on a journey to seek justice in a corrupt world designed to protect those in power. But is it justice they seek or revenge?
Keep it simple. You've given a character flaw to the person who dies immediately, you spend a lot of time describing the antagonist, and then you don't identify who the actual protagonist is. "After his best friend is murdered, a (character flaw) (protagonist) must ..." I also don't know what your sRead more
Keep it simple. You’ve given a character flaw to the person who dies immediately, you spend a lot of time describing the antagonist, and then you don’t identify who the actual protagonist is.
“After his best friend is murdered, a (character flaw) (protagonist) must …”
I also don’t know what your story is actually about. What is your protagonist’s objective goal? Does he have to physically find the evidence to prove who committed the murder? Does he have to raise the money with the support of his community to hire a lawyer to take the murderer to court? Is he himself a lawyer, and must take on this wealthy son of a corporate giant?
AND … who is trying to stop your character? I get that in the real world, it’s a dozen different systems that are in place. But in movies, you need to give a face and a name to those systems, and there has to be ONE person who, when they beat them, the audience will know the protagonist has won … and not before.
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