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When an old woman wakes up in the spirit world realizing about her death and finds out she has only 80 minutes left to take rebirth, to correct her karma in the newborn life, she must complete a series of tasks or risk a new life of struggle and trials.
Your protagonist is the ghost of an old woman. The goal is too vague - she must struggle to do a series of tasks. In a broad sense, that's what every movie ever made has been about. What specifically must she do to atone for her sins on earth? The stakes are that she may be reincarnated to a life ofRead more
Your protagonist is the ghost of an old woman. The goal is too vague – she must struggle to do a series of tasks. In a broad sense, that’s what every movie ever made has been about. What specifically must she do to atone for her sins on earth?
The stakes are that she may be reincarnated to a life of struggling and trials … suggesting that your character lives in a universe where everything is pre-determined. Which causes a logic problem for me in your story. If it’s a story about a character trying to do a bunch of good deeds so that she is given a BETTER life, which is devoid of free will … is it really her fault that in the previous life which was devoid of free will, that she did things that she must now atone for? It wasn’t really her choosing to life incorrectly, was it?
What if, instead of the threat of a life of struggles, you instead borrow from the idea of Hindu reincarnation, and she’s reincarnated somewhere further down the list of beings. Perhaps she will return as a beetle, or a worm, or something like that.
The hook, as you described it on a previous version of the logline, is that she ages backwards, 1 minute for every year of her life, until she reverts to the moment of conception, and is suddenly transported back into the real world. That is an interesting time clock to put on your character, and I would suggest trying to include it in your logline, because I’ve seen stories about ghosts trying to atone for their sins before, but I haven’t seen that trope mixed with a ‘Benjamin Button’ that plays out in real time, and for that you’d get my ticket money.
See lessWhen a young boy would rather live in his daydreams than face the harsh truth of his bullied school boy existence, his teacher and parents must rescue him before he is lost forever.
I agree with the thread above but ... "reach him before he's lost forever", or even "rescue him" as goals are just too vague. It's not clear what that would entail visually. Does it mean entering his dreams a la Inception, or does it mean sitting with him in a series of psychiatrist sessions? The buRead more
I agree with the thread above but … “reach him before he’s lost forever”, or even “rescue him” as goals are just too vague. It’s not clear what that would entail visually. Does it mean entering his dreams a la Inception, or does it mean sitting with him in a series of psychiatrist sessions? The budgets for the two, and the type of story being told, are so varied, you need to clarify this in your logline.
“When her son becomes catatonic as a result of brutal schoolyard bullying, a (what is your PROTAGONIST’s flaw, not the kid’s flaw) single mother MUST DO THIS TO REVIVE HIM. (Maybe she needs to get money to pay for therapy. Maybe she has to sleep with the twisted but brilliant therapist who is the only one who can get through to her son. Whatever it is, the goal needs to be MUCH more clearly defined.)
See lessA young woman must find a way to take down the sinister organization responsible for her sister's murder and their plans to control a future, dystopian society.
"must find a way" is too vague. If I was the gatekeeper holding the cash to make your film, I wouldn't know if I was being set up for a story about a woman sneaking around corridors trying to find classified information, or an epic where she incites an army of underground freedom fighters to engageRead more
“must find a way” is too vague. If I was the gatekeeper holding the cash to make your film, I wouldn’t know if I was being set up for a story about a woman sneaking around corridors trying to find classified information, or an epic where she incites an army of underground freedom fighters to engage in all out warfare on the streets of some CGI heavy city environment. The budget for the two would be at opposite ends of the spectrum.
What specifically does your character have to do?
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