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A group of students decide to throw one last party for their graduation aboard a luxury cruise liner, but the event slowly starts to turn into a nightmare when a stow away begins to wreak havoc on board, punishing the students for their past wrong doings.
Definitely feels like you could focus it toward the central conflict more. (Obviously sub-out the elements that are not correct). After discovering a helmsman's corpse aboard their graduation cruise, a group of students (lead by their flawed protagonist) must get the ship to shore before a malevolenRead more
Definitely feels like you could focus it toward the central conflict more. (Obviously sub-out the elements that are not correct).
After discovering a helmsman’s corpse aboard their graduation cruise, a group of students (lead by their flawed protagonist) must get the ship to shore before a malevolent stowaway exacts his bloody revenge for their prior misdeeds.
See lessAfter her source is killed, a discredited journalist struggles to unravel and expose a diabolical plot by the world leader in DNA test kits before she becomes his next victim.
I feel like the hook is supposed to be the fact that the villain is the world leader in DNA test kits ... but it's not clear to me why that's pertinent information, or how it factors into the journey of a discredited journalist trying to avoid being murdered.Perhaps you need to take a look at how yoRead more
I feel like the hook is supposed to be the fact that the villain is the world leader in DNA test kits … but it’s not clear to me why that’s pertinent information, or how it factors into the journey of a discredited journalist trying to avoid being murdered.
Perhaps you need to take a look at how you can work whatever hook you have more cleanly into the logline? Because it appears that this is a story of a journalist who discovers a a conspiracy and is targeted for that … which is fine, but we’ve seen it before. And as I’ve said above, it’s not clear how the DNA test kit antagonist provides the new spin on this plot.
Is the protagonist’s journey about becoming legitimised again? (Discredited to credited?)
See lessWhen her son is kidnapped, the distraught mother must beg her tight-fisted father-in-law, J. Paul Getty, the world?s richest man, to pay the ransom.
I agree with variable -- 'to beg' doesn't seem like the most compelling action a screenplay could give to its protagonist. Perhaps that's part of the reason why this flick failed to make all the money in the world? (apparently 56M worldwide, against a 50M budget ...)
I agree with variable — ‘to beg’ doesn’t seem like the most compelling action a screenplay could give to its protagonist. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why this flick failed to make all the money in the world? (apparently 56M worldwide, against a 50M budget …)
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