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Revision 2: A telepath must install a countermeasure in a guarded government facility, before an anti-telepath weapon is launched.
Why is the objective to install a safeguard and not to destroy the weapon? The stakes are clear. You?re missing the event section (why now?) but I assume it?s just that the telepath finds out about the weapon somehow. The bigger issue is, now that you can see the story at its core ... what makes thiRead more
Why is the objective to install a safeguard and not to destroy the weapon?
The stakes are clear. You?re missing the event section (why now?) but I assume it?s just that the telepath finds out about the weapon somehow.
The bigger issue is, now that you can see the story at its core … what makes this story or screenplay worth a reader?s time? Because I?ve definitely already seen ?magic people must destroy doomsday weapon? – in Star Wars or X-Men or a dozen others. What?s unique about this iteration?
See lessWhen his unknown opponent suffers a brain haemorrhage in the ring at a local tournament, a rookie fighter must discover the boxer’s identity and find his family to gift his prize money to them.
Why does the rookie have to give the prize money to the family? What is at stake if he doesn?t do it?
Why does the rookie have to give the prize money to the family? What is at stake if he doesn?t do it?
See lessJulia a high school girl, learns that her younger sister has a bowel syndrome disorder and should undergo surgery as soon as possible. She decides to go to Texas with her two friends. But in their road trip, they get involved in some adventures.
Don?t use the character?s name. It?s a waste of word count, because it doesn?t tell us anything about the character, and unless it?s an existing IP the reader has no prior connection. Instead, use FLAW and FUNCTION (eg. vapid student). This tells us the inner arc of the character as well as who theyRead more
Don?t use the character?s name. It?s a waste of word count, because it doesn?t tell us anything about the character, and unless it?s an existing IP the reader has no prior connection. Instead, use FLAW and FUNCTION (eg. vapid student). This tells us the inner arc of the character as well as who they are in relation to the world they inhabit.
There is no clear causal link between the event (sister has bowel cancer) and goal (road trip to Texas). Why go to Texas? What is the goal, what is at stake, and what is the conflict?
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