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When college student, David Piersall, accidentally kills his girlfriends younger brother, his mistake brings the forces of the supernatural down upon him.
I agree with JamesMichael. Ditch the name, it's valuable space wasted. Instead use those two words to describe him. What makes him interesting? Is there anything ironic about him encountering the supernatural? Maybe he's a non-believer. Also, I'm going to find it hard to care for someone who accidenRead more
I agree with JamesMichael. Ditch the name, it’s valuable space wasted. Instead use those two words to describe him. What makes him interesting? Is there anything ironic about him encountering the supernatural? Maybe he’s a non-believer. Also, I’m going to find it hard to care for someone who accidentally kills someone. Not sure how that’s going to work out.
Overall, it’s just too vague. I don’t have enough info to get an understanding of the story, or the characters. There’s not enough there to catch my attention enough to want to read it.
See lessAfter an organic supercomputer goes haywire and hijacks all of the world?s computer systems, its scientist creator must stop the crazed machine before it kills him.
Really like it. It's simple, to the point. I can see the entire movie unfold before my eyes. And it is a movie I'd like to watch. To go the extra distance, your next step would be to give the scientist a better description. Well any description. Something that makes the story memorable and more inteRead more
Really like it. It’s simple, to the point. I can see the entire movie unfold before my eyes. And it is a movie I’d like to watch.
To go the extra distance, your next step would be to give the scientist a better description. Well any description. Something that makes the story memorable and more interesting. What is it about this scientist that makes us care?
See lessA na?ve new prison psychiatrist takes it upon herself to fight for the rights of an aging hit-man kept in solitary confinement, but when her husband is kidnapped, he?s the only one she can turn to for help.
Thanks Doc. I think you summed it all up perfectly. Yes, it has Silence of the Lambs written all over it. In fact, I'm trying to avoid making it too similar. The points you make have made me rethink the structure of the movie. Shows you how important these loglines are. The kidnapping would be arounRead more
Thanks Doc.
I think you summed it all up perfectly. Yes, it has Silence of the Lambs written all over it. In fact, I’m trying to avoid making it too similar. The points you make have made me rethink the structure of the movie. Shows you how important these loglines are. The kidnapping would be around the middle. When things become serious. Up until then it’s merely threats and small gestures. So I think I will remove it from the logline.
The idea is, there is a Mob Boss in the prison who wants the Psychiatrist to have him transferred to a low security mental facility. But I’m not sure how to include him and the hit man. Do I need both? What would Silence of the Lambs logline be? Would it include Hannibal and Buffalo Bill?
I might have to remove the part about fighting for the hit mans rights.
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