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A small-town janitor reels from the death of his former teacher and wife, only to be unexpectedly snowed in at his alma mater secondary school over Christmas holidays, challenged with sheer survival as well as the demons of his past.
I like the specificity, and there are some good parts here that give me an impression on what the story will be, but it's also still a little too vague. First of all, is his former teacher and wife the same person? It's not clear, and I have no idea why it's important that we know both, or how thatRead more
I like the specificity, and there are some good parts here that give me an impression on what the story will be, but it’s also still a little too vague.
First of all, is his former teacher and wife the same person? It’s not clear, and I have no idea why it’s important that we know both, or how that death relates to the rest of the story. Challenging his demons implies he played some part in her death? If so make that clear.
Alma mater secondary school is very wordy and a little odd. Why not – former high school?
And most importantly, what is the actual movie about? Getting snowed in at a school is hardly life or death, so how does it become about survival? And is it just him stuck at a school? And why he is at the school (funeral/memorial maybe?). If the ‘demons of his past’ are not literal then I would include them. Is this a supernatural horror?
It’s a good start, but some more specifics are required.
See lessA hopeless romantic is stuck in a love triangle with her fiance and his bestman, and has three months to choose who she walks down the isle with.
It's very vague. Tell us something interesting about these three people that makes it interesting. Are the groom and best man very different people - perhaps one represents a life of passion and excitement the other a life of security and safety - that kind of thing makes the decision interesting anRead more
It’s very vague. Tell us something interesting about these three people that makes it interesting. Are the groom and best man very different people – perhaps one represents a life of passion and excitement the other a life of security and safety – that kind of thing makes the decision interesting and meaningful.
We also want to learn about her, especially as my first reaction is – WHO CARES?
What are the stakes of choosing one over the other? This needs to be a dilemma, they both need to be good choices. And there needs to be repercussions.
On top of all that 3 months is far too long to make this interesting. 3 days would probably still be too long. If it was the day before the wedding then that might work. Movies work far better in contained circumstances. The drama is instantly higher than 3 months which makes it seem like a long drawn out drama (boring!).
See lessAfter a decade of hunting terrorists. Liam?s new icy adventure to restore an abandoned ski lodge ends up with his former Special forces team having to adapt to being the hunted when they cross paths with a legendary creature known for its winter scream.
The elements are there, but the structure is all over the place and repetitive. Something more streamlined like: After a decade of hunting terrorists, Liam and his former Special forces team retire to restore an abandoned ski lodge but?they are hunted by a legendary creature known for its winter scrRead more
The elements are there, but the structure is all over the place and repetitive.
Something more streamlined like:
After a decade of hunting terrorists, Liam and his former Special forces team retire to restore an abandoned ski lodge but?they are hunted by a legendary creature known for its winter scream.
But I still want to know about the monster. If it is legendary then tell us. And how does a scream become an actual threat? Does it set off avalanches? The monster is the hook, don’t leave it out.
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