1. Posted: June 23, 2020In:

    When a little girls father kills her mother before killing himself, she must convince her Sunday school teacher that she has seen GOD  

    Richiev Singularity

    If you give us a 'must', you must give us an 'or else'; or else the logline will seem incomplete"After the murder-suicide of her parents, a traumatized girl must convince her Sunday school teacher she has seen God, or else..." (This bad thing will happen)

    If you give us a ‘must’, you must give us an ‘or else’; or else the logline will seem incomplete

    “After the murder-suicide of her parents, a traumatized girl must convince her Sunday school teacher she has seen God, or else…” (This bad thing will happen)

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  2. Posted: June 18, 2020In:

    Four mentally ill college students must race against time to stop their professor from being murdered by a mob boss.

    Richiev Singularity

    There are definitely elements here, but you have left out the inciting incident. Why is the Mob boss going to kill their professor?

    There are definitely elements here, but you have left out the inciting incident. Why is the Mob boss going to kill their professor?

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  3. Posted: September 28, 2015In:

    A self confident hitman relives along a nightmarish night the killing of his last victim.

    Richiev Singularity

    Story is conflict, and conflict from a story standpoint is what is standing between the lead character accomplishing his or her goal. Since your logline doesn't tell us what the lead character's goal is, we, the reader, do not know what the conflict is, which means we do not know what the story is aRead more

    Story is conflict, and conflict from a story standpoint is what is standing between the lead character accomplishing his or her goal. Since your logline doesn’t tell us what the lead character’s goal is, we, the reader, do not know what the conflict is, which means we do not know what the story is about.

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