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An ex-con, tries to move on with his life, but his life is turned upside down when he falls for the sister of a reformed paedophile.
The story idea seems solid, but the logline just sets up the situation instead of what the lead plans on doing about the situation.So I would ask this question when attempting to write the logline for this story: What is the main conflict?From what I am seeing (From all your attempts) The main conflRead more
The story idea seems solid, but the logline just sets up the situation instead of what the lead plans on doing about the situation.
So I would ask this question when attempting to write the logline for this story: What is the main conflict?
From what I am seeing (From all your attempts) The main conflict is the lead character wants to kill the pedophile but in doing so risks the relationship with his love interest.
I would then used this main conflict as the centerpiece of your logline.
1: Start the logline at the point the conflict begins,
2: let us know what is the lead character’s main goal. Is it… A: Killing the Pedophile. or B: Winning his love interest (Because if killing the pedophile is his main goal, then his love interest is getting in the way of the goal. If Winning his love interest is the main goal then killing the pedophile is getting in the way)
3: Then let us know what the lead character plans on doing about it.
Hope this helped.
See lessAfter the fall of the Monster Hunters Union brought on by the people they wronged, it is a time when human worth is determined by the strength of the monster they have ownership over.
In a story, you have a lead character Something happens to that lead character This causes the lead character to have a goal. However, achieving that goal isn't easy because something stands in the lead character's way. Who is the lead character? What do they want? What is standing in their way?
In a story, you have a lead character
Something happens to that lead character
This causes the lead character to have a goal.
However, achieving that goal isn’t easy because something stands in the lead character’s way.
Who is the lead character?
What do they want?
What is standing in their way?
See lessWhen an 8ft hairy black monster begins following him around and disrupting his life, a lonely divorcee must find a way to get rid of it before it controls his entire existence.
What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, "Controls his entire existence" Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body? In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster? However, besRead more
What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, “Controls his entire existence” Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body?
In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster?
However, besides that, I think this logline is pretty close and has a great hook.
See less