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Looking for advice/approval on the following logline I created. Thank you!! “After being turned into a beast in a neo-gothic world, a fearless woman disguised as a woman seeks revenge against the cult who sacrificed her during the next hunt.” What do you think? criticism and help would be greatly appreciated.
I would watch your tenses:"...against the cult who sacrificed her (Past tense, this already happened) during the 'next' hunt." (Future tense, it hasn't happened yet)This is very confusing for the reader.
I would watch your tenses:
“…against the cult who sacrificed her (Past tense, this already happened) during the ‘next’ hunt.” (Future tense, it hasn’t happened yet)
This is very confusing for the reader.
See lessAfter aiding the misjudged conviction to those responsible for his families death, an undisputed private investigator has one week to prove their innocence, to save his kidnapped adopted daughter’s life
Who is giving the 'undisputed' detective one week? Who is the antagonist? (Or if the antagonist is 'big reveal' at the end of the movie, how does the detected find out he only has one week, does he receive a note? A finger? A video?)
Who is giving the ‘undisputed’ detective one week? Who is the antagonist? (Or if the antagonist is ‘big reveal’ at the end of the movie, how does the detected find out he only has one week, does he receive a note? A finger? A video?)
See lessAfter the misjudged conviction to those responsible for his families death, an undisputed private investigator has 1week to prove their innocence, or his kidnapped recently adopted daughter dies.
How will overturning the wrongful conviction save his adopted daughter's life? Just curious. Because it sounds as if what sets the story in motion is when his daughter is kidnapped since the goal of the story is to save her.
How will overturning the wrongful conviction save his adopted daughter’s life? Just curious.
Because it sounds as if what sets the story in motion is when his daughter is kidnapped since the goal of the story is to save her.
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