1. Posted: May 1, 2019In:

    After a lonely orphan discovers she belongs to an almost-extinct race that guards the source of all life, she must fight to protect mankind from the only other of her people, her parents killer.

    Richiev Singularity

    I don't think what sets the story in motion is the discovery that she belongs to the ancient race. What sets the story in motion would be the event that puts all humanity in danger. What does the 'killer' do at the beginning of the story that causes the lead to take action? How specifically do you sRead more

    I don’t think what sets the story in motion is the discovery that she belongs to the ancient race. What sets the story in motion would be the event that puts all humanity in danger.

    What does the ‘killer’ do at the beginning of the story that causes the lead to take action? How specifically do you show the danger to mankind on screen or at the least get across the danger to the reader?

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2019In:

    A sulky Teenager from a Forest tribe is magically transported to a Medieval society populated with mythical creatures after she accidentally breaks a sacred statue. She must find the Infamous Witch in order to fix the statue before sunset or transform into a spirit creature forever.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    The story is coming together, it is unique enough to stand on its own but you could use 'The Wizard of Oz' as a template. This is a good thing (Same but different sells in Hollywood) As for the logline, is the lead character still a caveman (woman) as in previous versions of the story or is the 'forRead more

    The story is coming together, it is unique enough to stand on its own but you could use ‘The Wizard of Oz’ as a template. This is a good thing (Same but different sells in Hollywood)

    As for the logline, is the lead character still a caveman (woman) as in previous versions of the story or is the ‘forest tribe’ something different now?

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2019In:

    After an explosion opens a hole for demons to escape from Hell, the dweller of humanity, aka the devil’s son, goes to earth to run up the demons before Yahweh sends his armies to clean up the mess, sending every demons into oblivion along with the dweller, if he’s still there.

    Richiev Singularity

    This logline is getting better. I would drop the term 'dweller of humanity' since it just adds words to the logline and doesn't really tell us anything. Also, I think this story would work well with a ticking clock. The devil's son is given a specific amount of time to clean up the mess... or else.

    This logline is getting better.

    I would drop the term ‘dweller of humanity‘ since it just adds words to the logline and doesn’t really tell us anything.

    Also, I think this story would work well with a ticking clock. The devil’s son is given a specific amount of time to clean up the mess… or else.

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