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When a teenage leader of a small anti-authority vandalism group gets caught by police, he must dodge the officers and steal one of their cars to get away.
Usually, if there is a 'must' there must be an 'or else,' or else the must won't seem to have stakes. For example, "...or else face the wrath of his father, who happens to be the police chief." --- "When he's caught by the police, the teen leader of a small anti-authority group must escape their cluRead more
Usually, if there is a ‘must’ there must be an ‘or else,’ or else the must won’t seem to have stakes.
For example, “…or else face the wrath of his father, who happens to be the police chief.”
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“When he’s caught by the police, the teen leader of a small anti-authority group must escape their clutches or face the wrath of his father, who happens to be the chief of police.”
When a cursed goddess is invited to partake in speed dating, she must try to find a lover who can withstand her curse, and her temper.
A solid logline. If you can describe the curse in a word or two you might want to add it to the logline, but don't add it if describing the curse would take an entire sentence.
A solid logline.
If you can describe the curse in a word or two you might want to add it to the logline, but don’t add it if describing the curse would take an entire sentence.
See lessWhen a best friend dies and returns as a ghost, a human girl must determine if her best friend is who she says she is.
A: The term, 'human girl' is awkward, I would drop it completely. (Perhaps give us a personality trait) B: You should say, 'her best friend,' instead of 'a best friend' (It's more personal) C: You don't have to tell us the friend dies and returns as a ghost, since being a ghost implies the best frieRead more
A: The term, ‘human girl’ is awkward, I would drop it completely. (Perhaps give us a personality trait)
B: You should say, ‘her best friend,’ instead of ‘a best friend’ (It’s more personal)
C: You don’t have to tell us the friend dies and returns as a ghost, since being a ghost implies the best friend is dead.
However, despite my nitpicks, the logline isn’t that far off. Not bad.
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“When her best friend returns as a ghost, a (lonely college student) must determine if her incorporeal best friend is who she says she is.”
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btw I put ‘lonely college student’ in parentheses, but if the lead character is a high school student, or a banker, or she is ‘enthusiastic’ replace my example with whatever traits best describe the character.