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After a pandemic infects most of the world a young woman leads a group of survivors to safety as they are hunted by something that can control all the infected.
I like the idea that there is something controlling the 'infected' That would definitely be the hook of the story.
I like the idea that there is something controlling the ‘infected’
That would definitely be the hook of the story.
See lessAfter a gang of gardners threaten to destroy the patch of forest he lives in, a nerdy ant must work with his insect rivals to build a 6ft tall robot to fend off the human menace and save their colonies.
This version of the logline is much better than your previous attempt.The term, "Gang of gardeners" is a bit clunky, you might consider going back to 'landscaper' or maybe?'greedy landscaper' to give the antagonist a negative?trait.However, overall this tells us what we need to know.Using this attemRead more
This version of the logline is much better than your previous attempt.
The term, “Gang of gardeners” is a bit clunky, you might consider going back to ‘landscaper’ or maybe?’greedy landscaper’ to give the antagonist a negative?trait.
However, overall this tells us what we need to know.
Using this attempt as a base; here would be a small re-write: (Hope this helps)
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“When a greedy landscaper threatens his patch of forest, a nerdy ant must enlist his insect rivals to build a 6ft tall robot to fend off the menace and save their colony.”
A poor but athletic and mentally strong Sioux tribe heads to Manhattan to destroy a billion dollar hedgefund company in order to give back the land to ten thousands of native americans and american citizens who lost their houses during the financial crisis.
I don't think destroying the hedge fund company would get the land back. However, the overall idea is alright. You should have a lead character who lost something personal and then give a face to the bad guys, ----- "After losing his ancestral land, a Sioux chief rallies his tribe to take down the cRead more
I don’t think destroying the hedge fund company would get the land back.
However, the overall idea is alright. You should have a lead character who lost something personal and then give a face to the bad guys,
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“After losing his ancestral land, a Sioux chief rallies his tribe to take down the corrupt hedge fund manager who deceived?him and his fellow native American out of their land.”