1. Posted: July 15, 2017In:

    A TV sports celeb with a gambling habit suffers memory loss after being mugged, resulting in him forgetting to pay the people he owes.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    When he fails to pay his mobbed backed bookie, a TV sports celeb must (Do this thing) in order to (accomplish this goal)

    When he fails to pay his mobbed backed bookie, a TV sports celeb must (Do this thing) in order to (accomplish this goal)

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  2. Posted: July 15, 2017In:

    A twelve-year-old orphan and his uncle journey to another dimension, while battling monsters of Christmas legend, in order to unravel the mystery of the heritage hidden from them by a strange, ancient magic.

    Richiev Singularity

    What triggers the Journey; that incident seems to be missing from your logline. "When Santa is turned into a brain eating zombie..." (Just as an example) Then tell us what they must do about it.

    What triggers the Journey; that incident seems to be missing from your logline.

    “When Santa is turned into a brain eating zombie…” (Just as an example)

    Then tell us what they must do about it.

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2017In:

    After a vehicle accident cripples his parents but not him, an adoptee must confront what life might be like without both sets of his parents.

    Richiev Singularity

    What does you lead character do about it. That is what makes a story. In your story things happen to the lead character, but in a story a lead character is proactive, the lead character does something. You need to tell us what the lead character does, and that will improve your logline.

    What does you lead character do about it. That is what makes a story.

    In your story things happen to the lead character, but in a story a lead character is proactive, the lead character does something.

    You need to tell us what the lead character does, and that will improve your logline.

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