1. Posted: July 19, 2017In:

    When a billionaire futurist is killed, a vengeful ex-assassin is forced to confront her sanity as she fights to discover who has been manipulating her memories to make her the world?s most feared killer.

    Richiev Singularity

    Agreed, with above comments, how does the murder of the billionaire relate to the lead character?

    Agreed, with above comments, how does the murder of the billionaire relate to the lead character?

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  2. Posted: July 19, 2017In:

    After a young businessman is told that he is a loser and his life is lonely and meaningless, he observes the people in his city and sees what makes them feel loved so that he too can be like them.

    Richiev Singularity

    I don't believe your inciting incident is strong enough You should personalize it; like if his father, wife or mentor tells him these things, it would have more of an impact with the reader

    I don’t believe your inciting incident is strong enough

    You should personalize it; like if his father, wife or mentor tells him these things, it would have more of an impact with the reader

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2017In:

    When a young teenage boy living in a racist Texan town discovers and befriends a Mexican teenage slave, he must expose the secret slave-trading business to save his friend and the others.

    Richiev Singularity

    This is a somewhat unrealistic scenario. You should deal more with how illegal immigrants are abused rather than slavery which was abolished over a hundred years ago. (Unless this take place in the past)

    This is a somewhat unrealistic scenario.

    You should deal more with how illegal immigrants are abused rather than slavery which was abolished over a hundred years ago. (Unless this take place in the past)

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