1. Posted: January 19, 2021In:

    An ex-soldier far from home gets stuck up in a huge set up targeting his employer. proving his innocence by fighting a general of the army and a controverse businessman behind all of this, is all he can do to save his live.

    Richiev Singularity

    "After he's framed for (This) an ex-soldier must prove his innocence against his ex-commander or else (This bad consequence will happen) "

    “After he’s framed for (This) an ex-soldier must prove his innocence against his ex-commander or else (This bad consequence will happen) “

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  2. Posted: January 17, 2021In:

    While on assignment in Europe, a cut-throat US journalist and tomboy discovers she is the reincarnated queen of an ancient kingdom but must quickly come to terms with her new identity before facing enemies, determined to eliminate her and take the crown.

    Richiev Singularity

    I got more from the title than the logline. How about something like this? ------------------------------------------- "When she discovers the tree of life, an American journalist must use newly acquired Holy powers to protect the tree from the demonic forces who want the forbidden fruit for themselRead more

    I got more from the title than the logline.

    How about something like this?
    ——————————————-
    “When she discovers the tree of life, an American journalist must use newly acquired Holy powers to protect the tree from the demonic forces who want the forbidden fruit for themselves.”

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  3. Posted: January 13, 2021In:

    A young man must find the reason behind his promiscuity before it destroys him.

    Richiev Singularity

    Also, the term 'young man' doesn't tell us anything about the character of the lead other than, not a woman and not old. Give us a one or two-word description and you will find it helps your logline. --------------------------------------------- A conflicted seminary student must find a way to overcRead more

    Also, the term ‘young man’ doesn’t tell us anything about the character of the lead other than, not a woman and not old.

    Give us a one or two-word description and you will find it helps your logline.
    ———————————————
    A conflicted seminary student must find a way to overcome his sex addiction if he is to fulfill his dream of becoming a preacher.
    ——————————————
    By changing the description from ‘young man’ to ‘conflicted seminary student’ it changes the entire dynamic of why the character must overcome their sex addiction. (Or their promiscuity)

    So the question is, who is your character beyond, ‘young man’ and does ‘who he is’, help the reader understand why having a sex addiction might present a problem?

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