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A young man must find the reason behind his promiscuity before it destroys him.
I agree with Mike, how will being promiscuous destroy the lead character, (getting a disease? Losing his girlfriend? Getting shot by an angry husband?) So the question is, in what specific way will being promiscuous destroy the lead character? What will the lead character lose if he continues to beRead more
I agree with Mike, how will being promiscuous destroy the lead character, (getting a disease? Losing his girlfriend? Getting shot by an angry husband?)
So the question is, in what specific way will being promiscuous destroy the lead character?
What will the lead character lose if he continues to be promiscuous?
What does ‘destroys him’ look like on screen?
What are the stakes?
It is compelling and specific stakes that will make the reader of your logline want to read the script.
See lessAn unemployable man, 40, starts killing people to vacate positions for himself only to get hired by an agency to assassinate people.
Where is the conflict? A man who kills is hired to kill, there is no conflict in that. What is the lead character's goal? A man who is unemployed gets hired for a job he is qualified for? Thus no goal. Without a goal for the lead character nor a conflict, there is no story.
Where is the conflict? A man who kills is hired to kill, there is no conflict in that.
What is the lead character’s goal? A man who is unemployed gets hired for a job he is qualified for? Thus no goal.
Without a goal for the lead character nor a conflict, there is no story.
See lessafter escaping from the hands of a brutal casino own in las vegas, the unidentical and frustrated twin brothers, one white and one black come home to new york to bury their late father and start a new life but little did they know that new york has nothing better to offer them.
"When they arrive in New York to bury their father, a pair of biracial twin gangsters discover the trouble they left in Vegas, didn't stay in Vegas." ------------------------------------------ I didn't quite get what the story was about after reading your logline so the logline I wrote above is moreRead more
“When they arrive in New York to bury their father, a pair of biracial twin gangsters discover the trouble they left in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas.”
See less——————————————
I didn’t quite get what the story was about after reading your logline so the logline I wrote above is more of a guess.