Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: April 8, 2019In: Thriller

    An army Lieutenant resigns her commission to become a professional poker player, believing poker is safer than army combat, so she thought, until winning a huge amount from a psycho who seeks a deadly payback.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 8, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    It's a good attempt at irony to have a former Lt. seek a peaceful income, but then there's no irony in that character fighting for her life. No extra conflict as that character is equipped to battle a psycho. While she sounds innocent, why should we care about her?? Is there more to the character anRead more

    It’s a good attempt at irony to have a former Lt. seek a peaceful income, but then there’s no irony in that character fighting for her life. No extra conflict as that character is equipped to battle a psycho. While she sounds innocent, why should we care about her?? Is there more to the character and the stakes, like she has a family or takes care of an elderly parent? Were other characters considered?

    A psycho fighting over a fair loss is not a relatable predicament. Think of a scenario that many people can see themselves in or understand the core of it. For example, since many poker players have financial? partners, she signs with someone without doing enough research…and he’s the psycho who turns on her after x. I can relate to that based on a bad experience with a contractor.

    So far the story is ‘Psycho is out to kill poker player/former Lt.’ What exactly is the hook? What makes this stand out? Next attempt, add that meat to the bone.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: April 5, 2019In: Comedy

    After an altercation over some pocket change escalates, a failed actor inadvertently takes another man hostage and must now reach the public in order to avoid arrest.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 7, 2019 at 11:28 am

    Getting there...Is this a short? If a feature, the logline needs more meat on the bone. For instance, why is the crowd his concern when the police are minutes away? What does he do most of the time or why does this last long?Are we supposed to root for the guy or relate to his frustration and enjoyRead more

    Getting there…

    Is this a short? If a feature, the logline needs more meat on the bone. For instance, why is the crowd his concern when the police are minutes away? What does he do most of the time or why does this last long?

    Are we supposed to root for the guy or relate to his frustration and enjoy the trainwreck? Right now it leans to the latter, but without the enjoyment part.? If we’re to root for the guy, consider that he’s victimized in some way.

    Still not clear what being an actor does for the story. As for talentless…does he know he’s talentless?

    With the next adjustments, look to highlight what exactly is the hook and what exactly makes this funny.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: April 7, 2019In: Heist

    A group of thieves rob a police station in hope of retrieving sensitive evidence that could potentially end their criminal careers for good.

    Best Answer
    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 7, 2019 at 11:04 am

    Good start. Next attempt...State the protag or main character. Even in a group, one leads the way or has the arc . Offer something to make us like, or relate to, this criminal (not necessarily all of them).The logline seems to cover a short period time so clarify what is the bulk of the story. Is AcRead more

    Good start. Next attempt…

    State the protag or main character. Even in a group, one leads the way or has the arc . Offer something to make us like, or relate to, this criminal (not necessarily all of them).

    The logline seems to cover a short period time so clarify what is the bulk of the story. Is Act II about the preparation and then they strike in Act III?

    >> sensitive

    Redundant with the stakes.

    Is there something specific about the evidence that would help with the mental picture or danger?

    >> that could potentially end their criminal careers for good.

    Be specific and certain. This has to mesh with the protag…if we root for him to succeed (so the evidence can’t paint him a terrible light) or witness his failure.

    It may help to add the wider location, a small town or city.

    My two cents.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 18 19 20 21 22 … 41

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 7,997
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,710

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.