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When an autistic American teenager falls in love with an Italian girl, he must overcome his difficulties with social interaction to win her.
Agree. These thoughts should add up and clarify if this is a romance where the two spend significant time together or if he loves her from afar and it's more about him building up the courage or trying to get her attention. Clarify the setting. If it's in Italy, better to say so. Though if it is, whRead more
Agree. These thoughts should add up and clarify if this is a romance where the two spend significant time together or if he loves her from afar and it’s more about him building up the courage or trying to get her attention.
Clarify the setting. If it’s in Italy, better to say so. Though if it is, what’s the purpose of an additional conflict? Seems a language and/or cultural barrier would distract the main struggle. Regardless of where, describe the girl in a more meaningful way.
See lessA woman who seduces and drugs men to steal from them must fight for her life after framing a man with a bizarre sleep condition by which a gate to hell is opened every time he sleeps.
>> A woman who seduces and drugs men to steal from themThis is a comeuppance story, right? Even if yes, seems the details aren't necessary and it would be simpler to call her, for example, a con artist.>> must fight for her life after framing a man with a bizarre sleep condition by whichRead more
>> A woman who seduces and drugs men to steal from them
This is a comeuppance story, right? Even if yes, seems the details aren’t necessary and it would be simpler to call her, for example, a con artist.
>> must fight for her life after framing a man with a bizarre sleep condition by which a gate to hell is opened every time he sleeps.
Intriguing setup. What is the fight…the objective and antag? Create a sense of what would happen in most of the script. Clarify if the protag’s hell problem is one night or more.
The framing part is confusing and tips the right-wrong scale too much against her. Why isn’t this guy her newest mark?
See lessAfter being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief, a group of teens must fight for their lives when they discover that their teachers are aliens who feed on the brains of children.
I like horror and the logline is a good start, but my personal taste says the story in the logline is too familiar and superficial.>> After being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief,It sounds like the other kids are attacked first and this group survives becauseRead more
I like horror and the logline is a good start, but my personal taste says the story in the logline is too familiar and superficial.
>> After being accidentally locked up in their classroom due to a failed mischief,
It sounds like the other kids are attacked first and this group survives because they’re locked up. If yes, this is a detail for the script and not the logline. Consider starting like, “After their teachers are revealed to be brain-eating aliens…“
In a group like this, one character is technically the protag so state her or him, possibly another if necessary, and then clump the others. Describe the protag so that we care and want her or him to succeed.
Once it says teens, “children” at the end throws me off because it makes me think of those under 13.
Is there some depth or something relatable about this that wasn’t mentioned?
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