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In the 1960?s, when her Greek village is devastated by drought, a teenage girl?s parents force her to migrate to Sydney Australia to marry a stranger and bring them prosperity but finds both racism and friendship, opportunities and mistreatment.
Good start. Seems like there is? too much going on. If the focus is to be on the racism, integration, and money, then is the marriage necessary? Sounds like the parents would send her there to work, not to force her into marriage. Or the opposite- if the focus is to be about the marriage and racism,Read more
Good start.
Seems like there is? too much going on. If the focus is to be on the racism, integration, and money, then is the marriage necessary? Sounds like the parents would send her there to work, not to force her into marriage. Or the opposite- if the focus is to be about the marriage and racism, then is the money necessary? Sounds like the parents would force the marriage in a misguided attempt at her having a better future and not that they need to be supported (though there could be one scene or no more than a? subplot about sending money).
Do you have a theme in mind yet?
See lessSeries logline:?During the Great Die-Up of 1886, a frontiersman with a dark, shameful past must protect the family he?s taking refuge with from his old Civil War captain, now a deranged U.S. Marshal, who along with his posse is under orders from an unscrupulous company to take their land.
It sounds like a movie, not a series. Try another series logline, a first season logline if there's more than one, and a pilot logline.
It sounds like a movie, not a series. Try another series logline, a first season logline if there’s more than one, and a pilot logline.
See lessSeries logline:?Set across the NYC Blackout of ?77, a reformed ex-con temporarily returns to his old life of drug dealing to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, but soon learns the game has changed and the players, old and new, are more ruthless than before.
Seems the answer is to, with the pilot, offer an outline of the larger story as a limited series, aka one season. The problems arise when this is framed as a full series, like five seasons. Limited, focusing on The Blackout is at least part of the hook. An ex-con needing money at that time also sounRead more
Seems the answer is to, with the pilot, offer an outline of the larger story as a limited series, aka one season. The problems arise when this is framed as a full series, like five seasons. Limited, focusing on The Blackout is at least part of the hook. An ex-con needing money at that time also sounds better as a limited series. It’s a writing sample and, despite how well it may be written, a good story overall increases the odds of some kind of positive development.
As for the logline, the second half has remained the same all this time despite many people commenting on it. It’s vague and largely meaningless. Next attempt, add specifics. Is he working for himself? Is he working for the Mafia or another syndicate?? Who is the antag, another gang/syndicate?
If you go the route of a limited series, then does that mean he’s still out to sell drugs or does he have bigger plans, like one or two big deals or scores? The Blackout is a major event so it demands major thrills.
The logline has a relateable objective with his sick mother. But then there’s continued talk of saving his friend. Make sure they’re not the same kind of series-motive because only one is needed and a second hurts the story. How does the friend fit in the series, is he there the whole season or just a few episodes?
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