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With crime running rampant in Los Angeles, a rookie DA begins receiving unsolicited advice from the ghost a of a once famed long dead prosecutor, era's clash as they fight to bring justice to the southland.
I would not advice that Clint, Now we are missing the "what will our hero do with this advice"; what action is he going to take. Your revised logline does not describe that anymore.
I would not advice that Clint, Now we are missing the “what will our hero do with this advice”; what action is he going to take. Your revised logline does not describe that anymore.
See lessAs he chronicles one tenacious man’s fight to survive after a nuclear holocaust decimates life on Earth, a dedicated and determined alien observer must decide whether to obey or defy orders to terminate humanity.
I like your last two versions of the logline, it let's me think of "Riverworld"- Philip Jos? Farmer (1918-2009). For me it also has a Jack Vance (1916-2013) vibe - the king of fantasy
I like your last two versions of the logline, it let’s me think of “Riverworld”- Philip Jos? Farmer (1918-2009). For me it also has a Jack Vance (1916-2013) vibe – the king of fantasy
See lessWhen a schizophrenic man is released from a futuristic mental institution, specializing in curing your inner ?demons?, learns that he is being hunted by an assassin, he must rely on his fragmented memories to survive.
Hey Sid, When A(n) X (="troubled by his past"=one word) man is released from a futuristic institution, specializing in curing your inner demons?, [ inciting incident = "learns that he is being hunted by an agent tasked to kill him"} , [something happens=he must take action] In other words what you rRead more
Hey Sid,
When A(n) X (=”troubled by his past”=one word) man is released from a futuristic institution, specializing in curing your inner demons?, [ inciting incident = “learns that he is being hunted by an agent tasked to kill him”} , [something happens=he must take action]
In other words what you really have now is:
When a schizophrenic man just released from a futuristic mental institution learns that he is being hunted by an assassin, he must….
If later in the story people fucked with his mind and he ‘isn’t a schizo – that’s for the story to unfold…
Now that your logline is not on the front page, I would simply repost it in a few days.
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