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When a crate of unknown origin is taken and murder surrounds the mystery, down and out Private Investigator, Connor Collins, must figure out how to stop the ancient Egyptian magic causing havoc before all is lost.
Don't need the name. I want your logline to show 'what' is "all" !! 'Who' is the antag; "Egyptian magic" is a bit weak. Who/what is the origin of this magic? There's potential in this idea, rewrite!
Don’t need the name. I want your logline to show ‘what’ is “all” !! ‘Who’ is the antag; “Egyptian magic” is a bit weak. Who/what is the origin of this magic? There’s potential in this idea, rewrite!
See lessSix university students placed in the same house. They support each other through various events in their lives as they "leave the nest" for the first time.
So your story is about growing up and the struggle that goes along with it. It's a 'theme' on its own and Blake Snyder calls it Rites of Passages. This story is about 'what' is the 'key factor' in those: "? various events?"? It's about change! What in this story triggers a 'faster' change than normaRead more
So your story is about growing up and the struggle that goes along with it. It’s a ‘theme’ on its own and Blake Snyder calls it Rites of Passages. This story is about ‘what’ is the ‘key factor’ in those: “? various events?”? It’s about change! What in this story triggers a ‘faster’ change than normally? You know that it’s about change ,because you wrote “leave the nest”, so make ‘it’ specific.
One of the Trailionnebfrrrr movies about Rites of Passages/freshman:
‘A group of freshman nerds start their own fraternity only to be sabotaged by jocks, but the nerds retaliate (19 w.).” I think I don’t have to tell you the title…
See lessAfter a young insecure girl, who lost her boyfriend by an accident, is sending a naked video to a strange men which is causing bullying attacks at school, she is moving to a new town to build friendships, but the cyber attacks continue and increase her depression.
My take: "After a young naive, nerdy girl gets bullied by a charismatic classmate because of a naked video, she leaves town depressed, but the cyber attacks continue - until she starts to fights back through internet viruses." The boyfriend is still in the story but because he's not 'key', make himRead more
My take:
“After a young naive, nerdy girl gets bullied by a charismatic classmate because of a naked video, she leaves town depressed, but the cyber attacks continue – until she starts to fights back through internet viruses.”
The boyfriend is still in the story but because he’s not ‘key’, make him part of the synopsis. Hey – if her friend wakes up from a coma, he can help her defeat her enemy in the last act – after it seems all hope is lost.
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