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A young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to take the money and risk the wrath of the man’s surviving family, who believe the money is rightfully theirs.
A young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to seek shelter and risk his familie's wrath , or be(come) homeles for the third time. So if you decide to seek shelter in this mega house, make sureRead more
A young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to seek shelter and risk his familie’s wrath , or be(come) homeles for the third time.
So if you decide to seek shelter in this mega house, make sure you lock ‘all’ the door, because after they lose the legal battle, they will illegally come for you full-force.
See lessA wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict. Protag: wealthy businessman Antag: businessman’s ‘shame’ of who he is Conflict: his ‘struggle with who’ he is Grows: unsuccessfully fighting hisRead more
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
Protag: wealthy businessman
Antag: businessman’s ‘shame’ of who he is
Conflict: his ‘struggle with who’ he is
Grows: unsuccessfully fighting his demons until halfway story he finds out that he is not alone in this. By excepting what makes his son tick, he must accept what makes him tick.
Inciting incident: It is in the middle of your logline and personally I think that is fine. If you put it upfront it would somehow translate to: “after a homosexual discovers his son also leads a double life,…”
The word “only” has two purposes:
(1) Showing that it takes a lot for the protag to try to really start growing.
(2) Making clear that there isn’t really an inciting – him discovering that his son is gay – incident at the start of your story, but (I would say) halfway.
But if you cut that word, I would still get both those points.
“manages to” is not needed either. Sure “manages to” stand for “the time” his struggle takes. But we as humans know that a struggle always takes time. Then again, if you do not use it, our feeling of “why do we want to see this movie if we already know he’s going to succeed to find ‘inner peace” is going to be too strong, reading the logline. So in this logline construction, I would keep it in.
Also, get rid of the inactive “ing” forms.
Furthermore, you would say ending with “his son struggles with the same conflict”, you just buried the lead. But in this case, exactly this works. Because only by recognizing they are somehow the “same”, they can fight their demons and accept who they are.
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
could become:
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality after he discovers his son struggles with the same conflict.
See lessA filmmaker struggles to hire an aging porn actress to star in his next pornographic sci-fi movie.
Why does he kidnap her? Why not simply hire her? Why does he want to make porn? Easy money? And don't forget the Inciting incident and where your story takes place; Amerika, Europe, Tajikistan...
Why does he kidnap her? Why not simply hire her? Why does he want to make porn? Easy money? And don’t forget the Inciting incident and where your story takes place; Amerika, Europe, Tajikistan…
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