“mffr, you are killing it! But still there absolutely is potential in this story if you make it more ACTIVE and pimp up the stakes. So not losing his job and keep providing for his family is PRIMAL – and that is good – (Save the Cat) but not PRIMAL ENOUGH to keep the audience interest these days. For me the main problem is that the logline does not show character grows. The protag has to take things in his own hands and save the day (the cat) We wan’t to see a one legged hero (slowly getting) in CONTROLE… For starters:

** 4 star Houdini **

A dishonorable discharge war hero returns to his degrading old job as a night guard at a (high stakes facility) only to find his family held hostage there by a(n) (old enemy {being a kickass antagonist(s) ) who threaten(s) to behead his loved ones (one by one) if he does not pay a ridicules amount of ransom money (within an absurdly short time) without leaving the facility” The (antagonist) will learn not to fuck with a resenful former 4 star general.

Who: protagonist, antagonist : stubborn secret agent, reclusive female school teacher
What: problem :trapped in an other body.
When:, where: setting : (1) ? (2) body of a female school teacher
How: conflict : employers, who want him dead
Why:goal : find the agent?s body
Irony: trapped in a body makes ‘teamplay’ difficult
Compelling mental picture = irony
Active protagonist: the best way is to SHOW his ACTION, otherwise use ACTIVE WORD(S)? — will need to set—- must set —- “.. unlikely duo SETS their difference aside…”
Audience and cost: depends for a big part on ‘the setting’
Killer title: X
Film genre: ‘Dude wth a problem’ meets ‘Buddy love’ — see “Save the Cat” from Blake Snyder
Love interest: GROWS of main characters leads to respect and later to love between (stubborn) secret agent, (reclusive) female school teacher