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A drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
Don't be to sarcastic Lucius, but yes, all I see now is a synopsis. Kill ALL your darlings and get to the bone of your story by writing a kickass logline!!! You will be surprised that killing your darlings does not mean killing your logline/story. Less is more! Und so weiter!
Don’t be to sarcastic Lucius, but yes, all I see now is a synopsis. Kill ALL your darlings and get to the bone of your story by writing a kickass logline!!! You will be surprised that killing your darlings does not mean killing your logline/story. Less is more! Und so weiter!
See lessA drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
Don't be to sarcastic Lucius, but yes, all I see now is a synopsis. Kill ALL your darlings and get to the bone of your story by writing a kickass logline!!! You will be surprised that killing your darlings does not mean killing your logline/story. Less is more! Und so weiter!
Don’t be to sarcastic Lucius, but yes, all I see now is a synopsis. Kill ALL your darlings and get to the bone of your story by writing a kickass logline!!! You will be surprised that killing your darlings does not mean killing your logline/story. Less is more! Und so weiter!
See lessA week after having leg surgery for which he would need 3 months rest, a 45 year old poor night guard returns to work in order to not loose his job and keep providing for his family. He encounters a group of burglars in a building garage and is unable to stop them.
"mffr, you are killing it! But still there absolutely is potential in this story if you make it more ACTIVE and pimp up the stakes. So not losing his job and keep providing for his family is PRIMAL - and that is good - (Save the Cat) but not PRIMAL ENOUGH to keep the audience interest these days. FoRead more
“mffr, you are killing it! But still there absolutely is potential in this story if you make it more ACTIVE and pimp up the stakes. So not losing his job and keep providing for his family is PRIMAL – and that is good – (Save the Cat) but not PRIMAL ENOUGH to keep the audience interest these days. For me the main problem is that the logline does not show character grows. The protag has to take things in his own hands and save the day (the cat) We wan’t to see a one legged hero (slowly getting) in CONTROLE… For starters:
** 4 star Houdini **
A dishonorable discharge war hero returns to his degrading old job as a night guard at a (high stakes facility) only to find his family held hostage there by a(n) (old enemy {being a kickass antagonist(s) ) who threaten(s) to behead his loved ones (one by one) if he does not pay a ridicules amount of ransom money (within an absurdly short time) without leaving the facility” The (antagonist) will learn not to fuck with a resenful former 4 star general.
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