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EDIT: After her farm goes into foreclosure, a naive cowgirl falls in love with a misogynistic cowboy, only to find out that they both compete against each other for $100,000 at a rodeo event.
I rewrote it. I think misogynistic could be a flaw/treat for the guy to act like an arrogant, proud, asshole towards woman. So he wants to win the rodeo event by all means necessary. Especially against a woman. But then he falls for her, too, and realizes that woman can be "good" as well. And so heRead more
I rewrote it. I think misogynistic could be a flaw/treat for the guy to act like an arrogant, proud, asshole towards woman. So he wants to win the rodeo event by all means necessary. Especially against a woman. But then he falls for her, too, and realizes that woman can be “good” as well.
And so he has to make a decision what’s more important to him. Maybe he is broke as well.
She could be naive in terms of business and life, that’s why she lost her farm (will lose it).
After her farm goes into foreclosure, a naive cowgirl falls in love with a misogynistic cowboy, only to find out that they both compete against each other for $100,000 at a rodeo event.
See lessRENEWED – While riding the bus, an introvert girl falls in love with the fantasy of a boy she sees, he introduces her to the vast landscape of people living in her mind, all fighting to control her.
Much clearer than before. But I don't understand "all fighting to control her". What does this mean? You should delete that and add a goal ?the girl has to strive for. Maybe something like:"While riding the bus, an introvert girl falls in love with the fantasy of a boy who introduces her to a worldRead more
Much clearer than before. But I don’t understand “all fighting to control her”. What does this mean?
You should delete that and add a goal ?the girl has to strive for.
Maybe something like:
“While riding the bus, an introvert girl falls in love with the fantasy of a boy who introduces her to a world inside her mind, but she must (has to)…
See lessA high school outcast in the shadow of his best friend falls in love with his best friend?s lover.
I see your two main characters- the high school outcast and the best friend- and the conflict is clear: what will the MC do after he fell in love with the lover of his best friend. There's plenty of conflict to create tension and suspense from. But a logline needs also a goal. What is the goal of yoRead more
I see your two main characters- the high school outcast and the best friend- and the conflict is clear: what will the MC do after he fell in love with the lover of his best friend. There’s plenty of conflict to create tension and suspense from.
But a logline needs also a goal. What is the goal of your main character, the high school outcast? Be specific about it.
“After (When) a high school outcast falls in love with his best friend’s lover, (s)he…
You don’t need the “in the shadow of his best friend” line in here.
What is the obstacle that keeps your MC apart from his love(r)? Remember: you have to fill at least 90 pages.
See less