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I mixed two loglines I’ve had before and wrote the one below. What do you think? Thanks for your feedback and help so far! It helped me a lot! – “When an agoraphobe student from New York City falls for a pop star, he must overcome his fear in public or lose her forever.”
Okay, thanks so much! The meet cute moment is simultaneously the inciting incident, yes. That's often the case in romantic comedies. "When an agoraphobe student and pop star fall in love, he must ?overcome his fear in public or lose her forever."
Okay, thanks so much!
The meet cute moment is simultaneously the inciting incident, yes. That’s often the case in romantic comedies.
“When an agoraphobe student and pop star fall in love, he must ?overcome his fear in public or lose her forever.”
See lessAfter a young talented street musician who suffers from stage fright is moving to New York City and wanting to realize his dream of a breakthrough as a band with his brother, he falls into the hands of a greedy music producer who promises the big deal, but forces him to decide between a successful career as a solo artist or an unknown band life with his brother.
First of all thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts about this logline. It means a lot to me! Let me just say: The story takes place in 1998, so there was no internet music industry like today. I think that's very important to mention. Maybe I should put it into the logline. Second point: ThRead more
First of all thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts about this logline. It means a lot to me!
Let me just say: The story takes place in 1998, so there was no internet music industry like today.
I think that’s very important to mention. Maybe I should put it into the logline.
Second point: The internal conflict from the Mc is that he has childhood traumas, because his father used to beat him as a little child. After getting on stage on his high school prom he looked too long in the eyes of his girlfriend and screw up his live appearance. Since this day this event keeps him from
being able to perform in front of large audiences.
Therefore he must overcome his stage fright.
Third point: Since their childhood the two boys want to start a band and the reason for the MC to launch a solo career is that he wants to prove his father that he is able to be successful.
It’s very hard to create a compelling logline for this genre. I wrote a few loglines, but this one ironically impossible.
See lessAfter a young talented street musician who suffers from stage fright is moving to New York City and wanting to realize his dream of a breakthrough as a band with his brother, he falls into the hands of a greedy music producer who promises the big deal, but forces him to decide between a successful career as a solo artist or an unknown band life with his brother.
Thank you for your help! I really struggle with this logline and I don't know why. Could you give me a short review about these two examples and tell me which of them is more suitable? Thanks!! "After a young talented street musician is falling into the hands of a greedy music investor, he gets theRead more
Thank you for your help!
I really struggle with this logline and I don’t know why.
Could you give me a short review about these two examples and tell me which of them is more suitable?
Thanks!!
“After a young talented street musician is falling into the hands of a greedy music investor, he gets the opportunity to start a successful solo career, but he has to make a decision between the money and the breakthrough as a band with his brother.”
“After a young talented street musician is falling into the hands of a greedy music investor, he gets the opportunity to start a successful solo career, but his brother gives him the choice between the famous life and their real passion together as a band.”
See less