1. Posted: June 4, 2019In: , ,

    When a washed-up championship cowboy, reduced to shilling for a huge conglomerate, discovers its championship racehorse is being doped on drugs, he steals the horse to liberate it from commercial exploitation.

    savinh0 Samurai

    Unfortunately, I missed this post. But I'm happy reading it now. Like the premise and your logline pitches a great story. To be honest, I didn't know this movie. Not my times, but I will check it out. Thanks :) Also, it's crazy, like you said: they started the project without having the full story.Read more

    Unfortunately, I missed this post.
    But I’m happy reading it now.
    Like the premise and your logline pitches a great story.
    To be honest, I didn’t know this movie. Not my times, but I will check it out. Thanks 🙂
    Also, it’s crazy, like you said: they started the project without having the full story. This says something about the power of a fantastic premise.
    Fonda and Redford? What a duo!

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  2. Posted: June 17, 2020In:

    A selfish drunkard is forced to run a startup and fight powerful government agencies after he inherits it from his righteous entrepreneur best friend who died mysteriously.

    Best Answer
    savinh0 Samurai

    Some questions:Why is he forced to run the startup?  Does he work for his friend before and take over the company after his friend dies? Why does he have to fight powerful government agencies as the leader of a startup? What's going on with the death of his best friend? You say, he died mysteriouslyRead more

    Some questions:

    • Why is he forced to run the startup?  Does he work for his friend before and take over the company after his friend dies?

     

    • Why does he have to fight powerful government agencies as the leader of a startup?

     

    • What’s going on with the death of his best friend? You say, he died mysteriously. Does the selfish drunkard investigate the death of his best friend or not? I’m inclined to think so, because otherwise you wouldn’t put mysterious into your story.

     

    • “Fight powerful government agencies” is too generic in my opinion. Try to find something more visual.

     

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  3. Posted: June 16, 2020In:

    An animal-hating animal control officer wakes up as a stray dog and must find a way to turn back but when he’s impounded and scheduled to be put down he instigates a jailbreak to save himself and the other end-of-lifers

    savinh0 Samurai

    Good version, Mike. The wording is on point and you have all important elements as well as the theme of your story summed up in your logline. You're intending to make a "family" script out of this logline, which I also thought while reading your premise. Is the underlying theme here the cruelty of tRead more

    Good version, Mike. The wording is on point and you have all important elements as well as the theme of your story summed up in your logline.

    You’re intending to make a “family” script out of this logline, which I also thought while reading your premise. Is the underlying theme here the cruelty of the animal killing around the world? This was my first thought.

    Cheers!

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