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When Marcus Rosen is attacked by a unknown assailant, he awakens a hidden power that he eventually must use to stop evil from destroying humanity.
Cheers.Who is Marcus Rosen? I think that's the name of your protagonist, which is not necassary to state in a logline. Just use a description of your character, like student (Spider-Man) or businessman (Batman) and a flaw that suits best with your character, like arrogant or reckless. You can find mRead more
Cheers.
Who is Marcus Rosen? I think that’s the name of your protagonist, which is not necassary to state in a logline. Just use a description of your character, like student (Spider-Man) or businessman (Batman) and a flaw that suits best with your character, like arrogant or reckless. You can find more on that by looking at the formula button above.
The construction of your logline is pretty solid, as it has an inciting incident (attacked), a goal (stop evil) and an antagonist (evil) as well as high stakes (destoying humanity). The only problem i have is the basic description of your events. “Stopping evil” is too vague in my opinion, because this can basically mean a devil, a group of crazy scientists or even a monster from another dimension. So what does evil stand for in your logline/script?
The same goes with hidden power. Awakening a hidden power can also mean a lot of things. What does it mean in your logline specifically?
See lessTrying to finally get a social life, a shy introvert struggles to fit in with his cousin’s crass friends on the road to a music festival.
While I like this kinds of stories (especially mixed with drama and comedy like 'The Way, Way Back'), it is not easy to write them because shy characters (especially combined with introvertism) don't have a lot to say and can easily come off as boring.Your logline states the protagonist and his probRead more
While I like this kinds of stories (especially mixed with drama and comedy like ‘The Way, Way Back’), it is not easy to write them because shy characters (especially combined with introvertism) don’t have a lot to say and can easily come off as boring.
Your logline states the protagonist and his problem (his shyness), but you should present him with a clear goal to give the story more drive. I feel like it will be really difficult to write 90-120 pages based on this logline and coming up with enough events without having a clear goal in mind for your shy introvert.
So he struggles to fit in with his cousins friends? And then? What does he do about it? What happens after that struggle?
Is the music festival important to the story/logline? Why? Does he meet someone at the music festival?
Keep that in mind when outlining your script.
See lessAn Ex-CIA interrogator with a new life as an acupuncturist must survive Public Enemy No. 1 when her interpretive healing accidentally goes viral and exposes her government-subsidized hideout.
Hey Odie,nice seeing you here again.May I ask what 'interpretive healing' is? I don't know this kind of method.Regarding your goal: she wants to heal, not hurt. But she has to hurt during the movie (the bad guy), so for me the actual goal of the story is to survive and kill the Public Enemy, not heaRead more
Hey Odie,
nice seeing you here again.
May I ask what ‘interpretive healing’ is? I don’t know this kind of method.
Regarding your goal: she wants to heal, not hurt. But she has to hurt during the movie (the bad guy), so for me the actual goal of the story is to survive and kill the Public Enemy, not healing (that would be the need of the character).
Other than that, it sounds like a great concept. The logline is working and I see the stakes (surviving) and the goal (ultimately killing Public Enemy No.1).
Just one recommendation: don’t make the ex-cia interrogator a badass with ultimate power skills. She seems to be out for a long time, so she should have some kind of handicap when going after the Public Enemy. This makes both the characters more believable and the story much more entertaining (as you intend to write a comedy).
See less