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A struggling Aborginal widow is determined to make her 4 bi-racial daughters into a huge international girl band to guarantee they’ll never see poverty again.
I'm not sure about the Aboriginal culture, so I'm not going to comment on the credibility.? I think there needs to be some sense of timing/urgency worked into the logline, through an inciting incident/threat rather than just "being determined to make it".? Maybe talk about a chance the widow took thRead more
I’m not sure about the Aboriginal culture, so I’m not going to comment on the credibility.? I think there needs to be some sense of timing/urgency worked into the logline, through an inciting incident/threat rather than just “being determined to make it”.? Maybe talk about a chance the widow took that pays off, and the make or break opportunity the film can lead up to.
See lessTwo NYT investigators must pursue three decades of sexually harassed women to incriminate a powerful film producer.
I think this logline would make a solid movie.? I think the main thing missing from gianni's comments is the inciting incident.? Flaws might help, but I think the most important thing is a sense of why these guys must do anything.? I figure the answers might be the investigators believe the story isRead more
I think this logline would make a solid movie.? I think the main thing missing from gianni’s comments is the inciting incident.? Flaws might help, but I think the most important thing is a sense of why these guys must do anything.? I figure the answers might be the investigators believe the story is big, and would either benefit greatly careerwise (maybe they’re about to get fired), or maybe? they think these crimes need to be brought to light.? ?I’d suggest maybe the paper is in trouble, but this is the New York Times.? They’re doing fine, and you can’t really stretch the truth that much when you’re doing non-fiction stuff based on Harvey Weinstein.
See lessA young boy must complete an ancient and deadly rite of passage to prevent being reincarnated into a dying world when his father returns
The bit about "his father returning" is the thing I don't follow, I think.? I'd try to include some hint of why his father returning is bad.? Also, this young boy... is not a young boy, necessarily, right?? He's a young boy's spirit following a premature death?? Seems like that needs to be defined bRead more
The bit about “his father returning” is the thing I don’t follow, I think.? I’d try to include some hint of why his father returning is bad.? Also, this young boy… is not a young boy, necessarily, right?? He’s a young boy’s spirit following a premature death?? Seems like that needs to be defined better too.? Also, a rite of passage being deadly doesn’t seem a concern when you’re in the afterlife already.? It’s possible the boy is somehow doing this rite of passage in the world of the living…? if that’s the case, I don’t understand the “preventing being reincarnated” bit.
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