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(4th revision) 3000 BC: a hybrid child, despised by the world, is adopted by a genie; causing his stepfater’s damnation, he must redeem himself and become the god of the dead, Anubis.
The word "hybrid" needs to be defined better.? It's a hybrid half-human, half-genie?? Or half something else?? The genie adopting him caused his stepfather's damnation?? This business of "becoming the god of the dead? Anubis" seems like such a non-sequitur.? Does he redeem himself by becoming this gRead more
The word “hybrid” needs to be defined better.? It’s a hybrid half-human, half-genie?? Or half something else?? The genie adopting him caused his stepfather’s damnation?? This business of “becoming the god of the dead? Anubis” seems like such a non-sequitur.? Does he redeem himself by becoming this god of the dead, like old relatives calling you up after you win the lottery?? Maybe something closer to:
Shunned for his half-genie lineage, a child must redeem himself in the eyes of his stepfather by becoming Anubis, the god of the dead.
See lessWhen a bullied classmate turns up drowned, meek hall monitor must team up with their high school tormentor in order to catch the culprit.
I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them "best friends" as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there's a reason for this hall monitor to risk his sRead more
I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them “best friends” as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there’s a reason for this hall monitor to risk his scrawny neck to put a stop to this!
See less(revised) When her mother is brutally murdered, a family woman must find out who her mother was, in order to uncover what happened; but when a cult from her mother?s secret past starts to infiltrate her life , she must save her family and herself from the cults? grip or risk becoming victims themselves.
Seems better... but I'm wondering if this can be simplified to just jump to the cult. After learning of a secret cult's responsibility for her mother's brutal murder, a woman must now save herself and her family from being their next victims. I think that gets to the interesting part more directly aRead more
Seems better… but I’m wondering if this can be simplified to just jump to the cult.
After learning of a secret cult’s responsibility for her mother’s brutal murder, a woman must now save herself and her family from being their next victims.
I think that gets to the interesting part more directly and still remains true to the story, no?? I don’t think it’s important to make explicit how the cult operates.? I do like the mother “investigating the mother’s secret past”, but I don’t think that’s part of the hook for this movie.
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