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When teenage twins raised on different sides of the track, discover each other, they decide to swap lives temporarily, just to get a taste of what seems a better life but only one wants to return back.
I agree with Mike about focusing on one, and if I did, I think that definitely would be the one who wants to switch back, but can't.? My first impression is that their challenge is to prove their identity in order to get back their old life, but, why would that be so hard ?? Is the other teenager soRead more
I agree with Mike about focusing on one, and if I did, I think that definitely would be the one who wants to switch back, but can’t.? My first impression is that their challenge is to prove their identity in order to get back their old life, but, why would that be so hard ?? Is the other teenager some sort of identity fraud mastermind?? I think you’d need to go comedy with that approach.? The other approach , I guess, is to focus on wanting to not ruin their long lost twin’s life while reclaiming their life.? Not sure? why the twin couldn’t just pull the other twin across the tracks and welcome them with open arms.
See lessA high school dance challenges, socially awkward teen, to ask is jealous best friend for dancing lessons, after being asked out by the most popular girl in school.
No matter the story, if the logline has so many grammatical issues, I wouldn't expect the screenplay to? be worth reading.? It's just the nature of the business.? The logline is a screenplay's first impression, so you need to make sure you don't screw that up. As for the story, I've seen plenty of sRead more
No matter the story, if the logline has so many grammatical issues, I wouldn’t expect the screenplay to? be worth reading.? It’s just the nature of the business.? The logline is a screenplay’s first impression, so you need to make sure you don’t screw that up.
As for the story, I’ve seen plenty of stories where one friend helps another court a girl that he is secretly in love with, and especially,, as Richiev suggests, the friend is interested in the other friend.? The latter I think is much more interesting, since those dance lessons? give lots of opportunity for tension.? Dancing lessons for a big challenge might be fun to watch if done well, but it doesn’t really help? the story itself.
I think you can make a decent film out of this,? but I’d likely skip it because it doesn’t really stand out to me.
See less(Revision #4) England 1963. When two teenage sisters, sibling rivals, secure a recording contract that launches their singing career, they soon discover that the Rock?n Roll lifestyle is full of seductive excesses that may destroy their dream of fame and fortune.
I think as it's written now, the fact that they're "sibling rivals" doesn't have to be in the logline.? It's also ambiguous about whether they secure a recording contract as a duet, or if they both happen to get recording contracts at the same time.? I'm assuming duet.? I think the logline should foRead more
I think as it’s written now, the fact that they’re “sibling rivals” doesn’t have to be in the logline.? It’s also ambiguous about whether they secure a recording contract as a duet, or if they both happen to get recording contracts at the same time.? I’m assuming duet.? I think the logline should focus on the rivalry, and that would probably let it more clearly describe a story.
If I were to watch a movie with the logline you wrote, I’d expect it to be pretty close to one of those movies where the band gets a recording contract, then falls apart because the lead singer starts partying too much.? The singer says, “I don’t need you guys!? I’m going off on my own!” and then eventually comes crawling back, asking for forgiveness.? I think if it’s about just two people, and they’re rivals before they even got a contract, that would be something more interesting.? If the logline convinced me that the fact that they were sibling rivals would make a difference in the story, I’d probably want to watch it.
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