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Outside (Sitcom TV Series)
I'm not as familiar with loglines for a TV show premise, so this may be all the information needed to generate interest. My first reaction was "Monk with a different phobia", although neither character seems to be in law enforcement of any kind. Overall, I'd say I'm curious as to what motivates himRead more
I’m not as familiar with loglines for a TV show premise, so this may be all the information needed to generate interest. My first reaction was “Monk with a different phobia”, although neither character seems to be in law enforcement of any kind.
Overall, I’d say I’m curious as to what motivates him to risk challeneging his phobia to solve crimes when he doesn’t have to. So, if curiosity will lead to a “read”, it succeeds to that end. I fear, though, it is lacking more information.
See lessTaking on warring Texas drug cartels, a female Iraq war vet of color, a teenage hunk from the feed store, and a cattle dog, come to the aid of a neighbor who\'s son has been kidnapped.
It sounded to me that the "taking on of warring drug cartels" was the crux of the story, and the kidnapping was the inciting incident. But what do I know? I only read your logline and got that silly impression. I can only ask for your forgiveness and move on.
It sounded to me that the “taking on of warring drug cartels” was the crux of the story, and the kidnapping was the inciting incident.
But what do I know? I only read your logline and got that silly impression.
I can only ask for your forgiveness and move on.
See lessTaking on warring Texas drug cartels, a female Iraq war vet of color, a teenage hunk from the feed store, and a cattle dog, come to the aid of a neighbor who\'s son has been kidnapped.
Well, GXavier- it seems you've put me in MY place, haven't you? You posted the logline on a logline site designed to help, correct, formulate and JUDGE loglines. You received feedback then argue (at least I consider it an argument) over the feedback you've received, from me at least, when a) it comeRead more
Well, GXavier- it seems you’ve put me in MY place, haven’t you?
You posted the logline on a logline site designed to help, correct, formulate and JUDGE loglines. You received feedback then argue (at least I consider it an argument) over the feedback you’ve received, from me at least, when
a) it comes from a good place of sincere help, and
b) it’s one’s honest opinion.
Clearly you didn’t think the logline was perfect, or you wouldn’t have changed it once to place it on Ink Tip!
You may be missing the point of a logline, my friend. The logline helps GET you the read. As it stands now, IMO, it won’t do the job, but I’ve been wrong before. If you have to explain ANY part of the logline further to get people to understand your story, on a basic level, it’s not the most effective logline it can and should be. Writing loglines is a learned art and skill, one of which I think I’m pretty good at generally speaking.
Also keep in mind regarding those loglines of movies you consider “snoozefests”: they all have one thing in common. They are produced movies currently in, or soon-to-be in, wide release. Hollywood (and Texas) roads are littered with “writers” attempting to buck the system and make it, damn-it-all.
For your sake, I hope you do, and I wish you the best of luck in doing so.
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