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A brutal assassin wins custody of his children, one of them can tell the future and they must use his gift to find a way to end their father's gruesome acts, or their life becomes endangered.
I like it. I think it's "...their lives become..."
I like it.
I think it’s “…their lives become…”
See lessA young artist struggles with her newfound spiritual powers after being visited by the angel of prophetic revelation.
I see. I don't know why, but I was almost thinking "AFU" was literally the title. I like it, but I think the words "struggles," "spiritual powers", "angel of prophetic revelation" are vague to me. I'm sure if I read an outline, it would be pretty clear, but at this point, I'd like something a littleRead more
I see. I don’t know why, but I was almost thinking “AFU” was literally the title.
I like it, but I think the words “struggles,” “spiritual powers”, “angel of prophetic revelation” are vague to me. I’m sure if I read an outline, it would be pretty clear, but at this point, I’d like something a little more descriptive, more visceral.
Such as the term “spiritual powers.” What is it in your story? Does she see ghosts? Can she start fires? Levitate? Does she have visions of people dying? Does she make people’s head explode with a thought?
See lessAfter wrongly being convicted of a crime, three hundred years in the future, a former elite soldier is sent to an experimental prison camp on a distant moon, only to be drawn into a violent conflict between an ancient civilization and his fellow prisoners.
I'm thinking you might just get away with saying, "drawn into a violent conflict with an ancient civilization" and not really need the part about "fellow prisoners." (given that our protagonist is a prisoner, you've already sort of lead on that it's prisoner vs ancient civilization)
I’m thinking you might just get away with saying, “drawn into a violent conflict with an ancient civilization” and not really need the part about “fellow prisoners.” (given that our protagonist is a prisoner, you’ve already sort of lead on that it’s prisoner vs ancient civilization)
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