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When a disabled surgeon is appointed by the Queen's Secret Court to investigate murders in the ghettos of Future London, he must destroy an alien threat within the Aristocracy.
PS, I see you've taken previous feedback and improved your work. Well done. That's half the battle.
PS, I see you’ve taken previous feedback and improved your work. Well done. That’s half the battle.
See lessWhen a disabled surgeon is appointed by the Queen's Secret Court to investigate murders in the ghettos of Future London, he must destroy an alien threat within the Aristocracy.
Get rid of "appointed", implies a passive protagonist. (unless "being appointed" is the major inciting incident... which I don't think it is. In which case, it'd be like "When an ASSHOLE is appointed BOSS OF EVERY DAMN THING... something something ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE") Start at - In the ghettos ofRead more
Get rid of “appointed”, implies a passive protagonist.
(unless “being appointed” is the major inciting incident… which I don’t think it is. In which case, it’d be like “When an ASSHOLE is appointed BOSS OF EVERY DAMN THING… something something ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE”)
Start at
– In the ghettos of a future London, a disabled surgeon must destroy an alien threat.
and put put back just what you need.
– In the ghettos of a future London, a disabled surgeon must destroy an alien murder plot.
– In the ghettos of a future London, a disabled surgeon must solve a series of alien murders.
– In the ghettos of a future London, a disabled surgeon must save the Queen’s Secret court.
Getting there. *pats on head* Addaboy!
See lessA killer robot driving instructor travels back in time for some reason. He's got a heartbreaking decision to make about whether his best friend lives or dies. His best friend's a talking pie.
Tell me more about the pie.
Tell me more about the pie.
See less