You’re logline and concept, whilst aiming to titillate by way of describing a ‘time/ alternate reality’ concept, only comes across as confusing and unclear, and I’m left with a zero care factor because I have no reason to care about the plight of your main character. As others have said — the higher the sci-fi concept the greater the need to focus on the human struggle/ element in a logline… this is what ultimately audiences latch onto, imo anyway — even if they don’t realise it consciously… so — if you want the logline to be more engaging focus on simplifying it — be clearer with what the main character HAS to do, ensuring we understand WHY they have to do it, and less on the sci-fi elements. Below is obviously just an example, and not supposed to be replicating your main plot line:

A multiverse hopping bounty hunter must uncover a shape shifting psychopathic killer amidst the patrons of a bar before it escapes onto the streets London”

Also – in regards to …”There’s nothing that stifles creativity more than rules…” — imo, I think the opposite is in fact true. The rules in fact allow you to channel your ideas into something that is communicable on a large scale. Sure — the greatest film makers are known for breaking rules — but I can’t think of any that started out as rule breakers… they mastered the craft/ rules before they broke them — or, you have to fully comprehend the rule, understand why it’s a rule in the first place, before you can break it (and so, fully understand the implication of breaking it).

Anyway — best of luck with it.

T.

I’d echo both DPG and nicholasandrewhalls — the pov is from the IS operative, which paints him as the hero as opposed to the antagonist — but that seems odd for a couple of reasons: 1. He’s an IS Operative… currently the western worlds arch enemy… it’s a hard pill to swallow (unless they’re your intended audience..???). 2. It’s set 83 years in the future… that’s a long time for IS to still be kickin round; it also sets the film up as SCI-FI, which is really the cousin to the ACTION genre, and action films don’t typically have the bad guy as the lead… defines it as original, but not necessarily successful — imo anyway.

If, on the other hand, the CIA guy is your hero, then I think you should begin the logline with him — it’s a subtle but dramatic difference that places your hero upfront, and we get the logline/ story from his pov… start with him, and tell us what he has to do to get out of his dilemma with IS. I get intrigued by loglines when I can see WHAT it is the hero has to do… my desire to see or read a film is driven by wanting to know HOW the hero will pull it off…

Best of luck with it.