1. Posted: February 7, 2020In:

    In a future post-apocalypse society, where reproduction is only for ?the worthy?, a young woman chosen for reproduction must convince her leaders to spare her life after announcing that she doesn?t want to have children.

    Trix Samurai

    Hi Banff2010, I like your premise. ?My initial thoughts on reading are: If only the worthy are allowed to reproduce, wouldn't that eventually mean that only the worthy are the ones still alive as the others are bred out? Would a society kill a prime asset if she didn't want to breed? ?Wouldn't theyRead more

    Hi Banff2010,

    I like your premise. ?My initial thoughts on reading are:

    • If only the worthy are allowed to reproduce, wouldn’t that eventually mean that only the worthy are the ones still alive as the others are bred out?
    • Would a society kill a prime asset if she didn’t want to breed? ?Wouldn’t they just force her to?
    • Is she from a sub-section of society? ?Maybe she’s an anomaly in the rejects and they’d take her baby away and send her back to the unworthy?
    • Usually post apocalyptic worlds welcome reproduction -?What makes someone worthy? ?Being perfect? ?A specific ethnicity? ?What are the eugenics in question?
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  2. Posted: January 28, 2020In:

    A man with multiple personality disorder is being held captive by a murderous cult or his own personalities. He must rescue a girl who may or may not exist and escape.

    Trix Samurai

    Hi Craig, I like your premise - the sense of not knowing what is real can be extremely intriguing and nightmarish if done correctly. ?I'm confused by your logline though - here are my thoughts: Why does he have to rescue the girl - what is at stake? Is the girl the goal, or his freedom, or both? I wRead more

    Hi Craig,

    I like your premise – the sense of not knowing what is real can be extremely intriguing and nightmarish if done correctly. ?I’m confused by your logline though – here are my thoughts:

    • Why does he have to rescue the girl – what is at stake?
    • Is the girl the goal, or his freedom, or both?
    • I would probably go with ‘held captive by a murderous cult’ – the fact that this may be his own personality is a twist of the story?
    • Why haven’t the cult murdered him?

    I think writing down a little bit about your story may help us see what story you’re aiming to convey.

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  3. Posted: January 8, 2020In:

    A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.

    Trix Samurai

    My eyes skipped ahead and I first read this as 'a pair of young lobsters from rival...' LOL thought it would be a fab Disney version of Romeo and Juliet! Is it a literal mafia they're up against? I.e. total dominating, illegal, control? ?Or just hyperbole? ?I'm imagining if the story concludes withRead more

    My eyes skipped ahead and I first read this as ‘a pair of young lobsters from rival…’ LOL thought it would be a fab Disney version of Romeo and Juliet!

    Is it a literal mafia they’re up against? I.e. total dominating, illegal, control? ?Or just hyperbole? ?I’m imagining if the story concludes with them securing their waters or taking the enemy down completely?

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