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Introverted twins move to a new town where they endure (racially motivated) harassment; one finally decided to fight back.
I agree with everything mikepedley85 said. ? Also: Consider starting your logline with the breaking point moment - wouldn't that be a more natural inciting incident than the town move? Why would ?one twin react when the other hits their breaking point? ?Surely the breaking point must then either beRead more
I agree with everything mikepedley85 said. ? Also:
- Consider starting your logline with the breaking point moment – wouldn’t that be a more natural inciting incident than the town move?
- Why would ?one twin react when the other hits their breaking point? ?Surely the breaking point must then either be for them both, or for the one who is pushed?
- What is the racial motivation? ?One minority against another? White against black (or indeed, vice versa)?
- What is their goal? ?Justice? Retribution? Legal?
See lessWhen a man wakes up in an unfamiliar bar with no memories, he is compelled to solve the mystery and reconsider his own relationship with death.
A couple of thoughts I hope are useful: Do you need 'unfamiliar' bar if he's lost his memory? 'his own relationship with death' sounds like the emphasis is on 'own' - if so, why? Who else is there? And how does getting his memory back relate to his mortality?
A couple of thoughts I hope are useful:
- Do you need ‘unfamiliar’ bar if he’s lost his memory?
- ‘his own relationship with death’ sounds like the emphasis is on ‘own’ – if so, why? Who else is there? And how does getting his memory back relate to his mortality?
See less